I have gas.............

I did something pro-active for my country, my environment and myself the other day. I signed up for Xcel Energy's Windsource program. Essentially, it allows you to purchase wind-generated electricity in 100 kW blocks. The theory is that as more people pay for this clean energy, Xcel can use the revenue to build more wind farms. It costs $2.50 per 100 kW block and for me is well worth it. At least I'm doing something for our environment......unlike our government. I'm doing something to lessen our dependence on dirty energy, even if it is a drop in the proverbial bucket. Which brings me to the current oil dilemma.

It would be easy for me to go on a Bush tirade right now, citing the many ways in which this administration has continued to support the digging of oil wells, failed to enthusiastically embrace solar and wind technologies and labeled global warming as some sort of "funny science". But realistically, this President is only a bit worse than prior ones. The sad fact is, that since the first oil crisis in 1973, this country has done little to lessen its reliance on foreign oil. In fact, we use more now than ever. And with increased consumption coming from places like China and India, oil prices are going to continue to increase and more and more of your hard-earned dollar will go towards just getting around. Suffice it to say then, that I was shocked and dismayed ( and secretly in awe ) at this article detailing how a second world nation with a very precarious economy has done what we should have. Almost 30 years after the 1973 oil embargo, Brazil is expected to be energy self-sufficient in a mere 2-3 years. Astounding.

Colfax Soundtrack

For those of you in the know, I now work in Aurora........that soul-sucking, cultural vacuum that lies east of Denver. Gone are my 2 minute walks to work; I must now catch a shuttle and take the 20 minute ride down East Colfax to the New and Improved Health Sciences Center. I cannot read in a moving vehicle. Any attempt to do so results in almost instantaneous vertigo and a queasy stomach, which means I have to entertain myself in other ways. I know, I know. You're saying to yourself: " but a ride down East Colfax every morning HAS to be entertaining in and of itself ". It is, but as with anything routine, it eventually loses its cache and becomes something less than it should. Enter technology. Since reading is not an option, I've taken to loading up my MP3 player ( not an iPod, I was an early adopter thank you very much ) with eclectic playlists and submerging myself in my own stereophonic euphoria. I change the playlist daily, much as Colfax itself mutates daily into its newest incarnation and as a result I have produced some very unusual Colfax "soundtracks". As an example, here's how my music selections and Colfax mashed-up this morning:

Track 1: 3rd movement of Mendelssohn's Octet in E.
Observation: The flightiness and lightness of this piece just seemed to blend with all the morning activity going on: people running to get the bus, the cars streaming down the street, the hustle and bustle of pedestrians. The music embodies "movement" as the central theme is tossed about from instrument to instrument, much like the whores are tossed from motel to motel!

Track 2: Kelly Clarkson, Since You've Been Gone
Observation: The lonely drunk standing outside the corner liquor store, wondering when in the HELL the store will open.

Track 3: Marilyn Manson, Personal Jesus
Observation: Driving by the wacky warehouse-style church about mid-way in my trip. I can't remember the name of it, but they always have a brightly-colored bus parked near the back. I can only imagine the sort of trips that congregation takes. Maybe they do a whore rescue? Reach out and touch faith!!

Track 4: Pet Shop Boys, Always on my Mind
Observation: Well, this song is just so insanely happy that it really has no place being played along East Colfax. In fact, if anything, it intensifies the emptiness and despair that is this infamous stretch of road. Although I did think it a great musical theme for all the pimps along the 'fax.

Track 5: Scorpions, Rock You Like a Hurricane
Observation: I have one word. Mullet. Enough said.

Track 6: The Smiths, How Soon Is Now?
Observation: Wow, this one is SO appropriate. In fact, anything by Morrissey makes a great soundtrack to this street. I feel as if the folks in our shuttle should be tossing razor blades out the windows to anyone who wants to end their miserable existence.............

Track 7: VNV Nation, Saviour (vox)
Observation: The aggressive undertones match perfectly with the seediness of this road, the driving 2-4 beat standing in for the pulse of Colfax. And the lyrics? Appropriately despondent:

Burn your thoughts, erase your will
to Gods of suffering and tears.

Track 8: Frida, There's Something Going On
Observation: Well, it IS Colfax, right? Blowjobs, drug deals, arrests and the opening of yet another pawn shop? Oh yeah, it's ALL going on.

I plan an making this into a weekly thing. Not sure I like the format yet, so I'll be work-shopping it. Make your own soundtrack to life. Later.

Note: all links to music require Windows Media Player

Friday Fives

1. How old were you when you got your driver's license? Learned to drive a stick shift?

I was 15. I took my test in my grandma's big-ass station wagon..............twice. The first time I took my test, I was so nervous that I had the accelerator pedal pressed all the way to the floor so that when I started the car, this huge billow of exhaust exploded from the tailpipe, to which my grandfather exclaimed, " well, that sure cleared out the carburetor! " I also failed my first test because I barely touched the curb when doing my parallel parking test. So, the grandparents hauled me to the next little town to take the test again. We made it in time for the test, and who should be my driving tester? None other than the same crotchety old man who had just failed me less than 2 hours ago. Apparently, rural Pennsylvania had a shortage of driving testers..........
Needless to say, I passed. I learned to drive a stick shift when I purchased my first car: a used 1985 Corolla GT.

2. Who taught you how to drive?

Kind of a combination between my dad and grandparents.

3. Cars: first, current and pie-in-the-sky future?

My first car was a used 1985 Corolla GT. My current car is a 1996 Tercel and my dream car would be something along the lines of a BMW Z8. I've loved BMWs since I was 8...........

4. Napster/Kazaa/Filesharing: A crime or the Best Thing Ever?

This is kind of a weird tack going from cars to file sharing..............

At any rate, I think file sharing is the best thing to happen since man learned how to record sound as its the ultimate democratic way of getting music to the ears of the masses, where it belongs. Every artist now has the means to disseminate their art. That being said, I do believe that the whole copyright infringement issue has some merit. SOME. No one can truly make me believe that bands like Green Day, U2 or REM are hemorrhaging money due to illegal file sharing. File sharing hurts the struggling artist most. Yes, technically, people should be paying for these bands' music, and the fact is, most people do. "Illegal copying" has been going on since the days of the tape recorder and mix tapes. What makes digital music so different? Its easier to disseminate for sure and its an exact copy, but that shouldn't preclude my rights under the "Fair Use" clause of the copyright law which allows me to make a copy of copyrighted material for personal use. As long as I'm not making monetary gains from my copy, I'm within my rights. And this idea that the dissemination of digital music is responsible for reduced music sales is just bullshit. I have found many artists in the seemingly endless well that is the internet and yes, I have downloaded many files for free as a sort of "test drive". But more often than not, I have then purchased the artists' CD ( or CDs if they have been around for awhile ). This is the beauty of digital media: that I can find music I otherwise would not have been exposed to and with the click of a mouse, have it downloaded to my hard drive and then decide whether I want to purchase it. This is music in its most democratic form, where I can pick and choose what I want and when I want it. This is also the beauty which the music industry should've have keyed into: that mass dissemination of music will put more music in the hands of more people which will fuel more sales. But--alas--the music industry has been running around like Chicken Little, declaring that "the sky is falling" just as they have every time a new technology has come along. They were convinced that the tape recorder/cassette would be the death knell to the industry as no one would buy music anymore, they'd just record it from their friends. While this certainly happened to some degree ( who hasn't made a mix tape? ), the industry's profits actually increased, just as they did when CDs were introduced. So, the idea that filesharing is somehow responsible for the woes of the music industry just doesn't sit well with me.

The crux of the problem is that the music industry missed the boat. Instead of embracing the future of the wildly popular MP3 format, they chose to cling to an old, untenable business model and are now crying foul for their own near-sightedness. I truly believe that many of the reasons concerning the popularity of filesharing were ( and are ) rooted in the frustrations of we, the consumers. To wit:

• Paying $12-17 for a CD only to find that a few tracks are worth anything. This is frustrating. Who wouldn't want to hand pick their music selections rather than have them foisted upon us daily by radio, the Industry and TV? Had the music industry had a mechanism in place for this sort of democratic choice, I believe filesharing might not have become so rampant. Witness the success of Apple's iTunes. People have gone mad for it. Microsoft has even entered the fray at their MSN Music site. I downloaded 2 EPs the other day for $3.49 apiece and a few songs for $0.99. It was quick, painless and legal. Only now is the industry waking up to this reality.

• The price of music. We pay too much. Period. Why am I still paying $12-$17 for an Elvis Presley CD? Or an old recording of a classical piece? Or 20s swing music? These artists are long gone and royalties have been paid. Even if royalties are still due, we are all well aware of the cost of making a CD. It costs pennies. There are no marketing costs associated with these CDs, so why are their prices on par or in excess of those slapped onto new releases?? Where is the logic, I ask?? This is what I believe gave most people the "moral go-ahead" to begin downloading music for free. After being shafted by the music industry for decades, digital filesharing allowed the public to give the industry the collective Finger and say " we're not gonna take it anymore!"

Digital music and filesharing have revolutionized the way we listen to music, the way we will purchase music and the way we will find music. If it takes millions of "crimes" to shake the industry from the shackles of its old ways, then so be it. The short answer is: I HEART FILESHARING!

5. You've just inherited $35 million dollars. Show me how you'd spend it.

Wow. First, I'd change into some un-soiled underwear. Then I'd get a good accountant. Then I'd spend the money something like this:

1. Pay off all my debt, including the house.
2. Buy that Z8.
3. Call my brother, ask him how much debt he has. Erase said debt and then hand him a couple of million.
4. Set up trust funds for my nephews.
5. Pay all my friends' debt off. Give them each $10,000 or more, depending on tax laws.
6. Have a home custom built with accessory bumper car rink. My cars would have drink holders in them for all the drunken derbies we'd have.
7. Enjoy
   

Eureka!!

Very rarely do I stumble across an artist not from the 18th century that sends me into a buying frenzy, but I've found just that. I'm in love with a Scandinavian lad named Jens Lekman (first name pronounced YENS). This kid has one of the purest, slightly baritone voices I've heard in years, coupled with great songwriting that puts him in league with the likes of Rufus Wainwright and Morrissey. His voice has an ethereal quality and timbre that goes right to your heart ( or at least this Vulcan's anyway ). I stumbled across this kid on Accuradio's newest station, The Listening Post, when I heard the song Tram #7 To Heaven. A quick Google search directed me to a site which allowed me to download the downright catchy tune, Black Cab, from Jens' first EP, Maple Leaves. I have since downloaded his first two EPs from MSN's new music service ( very cool by the way ) and have his new album, When I Said I Wanted To Be Your Dog, coming from Amazon. I'm now regretting using the free shipping as it will be an entire week before I get more of this young man's dreamy vocals in my hot little hands. Its finds like this that reassure me that ALL of the good music hasn't been written yet....................

Friday Fives

1. If you could be famous for 15 minutes, what would the headline read?

Symphony attendee takes podium after collapse of Maestro. Leads orchestra in dazzling performance of Beethoven's "Eroica".


2. Do you think fame would change you?

Fundamentally as a person, I don't think it would. Superficially it would, out of necessity. I'm sure being famous brings all sorts of cretins out of the woodwork who want to be your friend or "help" you in some way and you'd need to be very selective ( i.e. a snob ) as a defense mechanism. I'd be very wary of new friends. Thank God I have a great group now who like me as I am. I could count on them were fame to strike.

3. Has your name ever appeared in the newspaper? ..what for?

My name was in the paper for winning a prize in a state-wide art competition. I think I was 15? Obviously, celebrity has been hounding me..............

4. Would you like to be famous for *more* than 15 minutes?

Sure, but it depends on what for. Finding the Cure for Cancer? Sure, that'd be great! Being known as The Guy Who Single-Handedly Ran America Into The Ground? Not so much. Thankfully, that infamous post is already taken.

5. If you could perform one act of Good while you were famous, what would it be?

Legalize marijuana. This country spends an insane amount of money trying to stop the use of this fairly harmless drug. Booze is way more destructive. How many times do you read about someone getting stoned and going out to shoot someone? Almost never. Yet alcohol-related shootings are fairly commonplace and we have liquor stores on every 4th street corner. Go figure........

The Gay "Switch"

Perusing the New York Times this morning, I happened upon this article. Seems scientists have shown fairly conclusively that by switching a "master sexual gene" in fruit flies, they can make females pursue other females and males pursue other males. As an aside, I loved the description of the heterosexual mating ritual of the fruit fly: ....It pursued a waiting virgin female. It gently tapped the girl with its leg, played her a song (using wings as instruments) and, only then, dared to lick her - all part of standard fruit fly seduction.

So, I'm assuming that the genetically-engineered mating ritual goes something like this:

.....he approached the hot man-fly leaning against the test tube wall, rubbed his leg bristles against his, bought him a stiff drink and then dared him to join the orgy over in the agar pool.

But I digress..........

Seriously though, this is some very ground-breaking research. To demonstrate that ONE gene is responsible for sexual orientation in fruit flies certainly moves forward the assertion that said orientation is Nature and not Nurture. While no one is making the leap to humans and saying that there exists a correlate gene in us, the fact that this "sex switch" exists in another animal certainly suggests that there could be one for humans as well. This could help to move the debate about sexual orientation from the realm of morality/religion and into the proper one of science. I feel excited about this discovery, but also a bit apprehensive. Excited because I think it could--some day--validate what we queers have been saying all along. We didn't choose to be this way, its just the way we were hard-wired! On the other hand, I am a bit concerned that, if and when a "sex switch" gene is found in humans, this information could be abused and exploited. What if fetuses could be screened for this gene? What if they had a sex gene which didn't match their anatomy? Should these fetuses be aborted? This moral conundrum is particularly interesting when viewed within the framework of Christian ideology. Do you let the moral "abomination" live and allow it to infect the world with sin, or do you kill the fetus, destroying one of God's creations? And how do you reconcile the Christian view of homosexuality as an abomination to God with the fact that God seemed to allow the gene "mix-up" in the first place? These are very profound questions and ones which we will face in the future I am sure. And not only concerning sex. This brings up the whole specter of genetic profiling and weeding out "inferior" human models. In essence, tampering with evolution. It is not too far a stretch to say that we would be masters of our own race should these discoveries and the technologies needed to manipulate them become commonplace. For now, I'm content just being a random mash-up of genes. Maybe I should start stock-piling my "seed". We wouldn't the gays to go extinct would we?