.....and I'll huff...and I'll puff..........and I'll vote for I-100!!

As anyone in Denver knows, the upcoming elections have been dominated by referendums C & D which, if passed, will essentially unlink the draconian ratchet-effect of TABOR from Colorado's budget. I'm certainly voting for it as I think its the fiscally proper thing to do; as a citizen of Colorado, I can't have my cake and eat it, so if I want services---like, say, higher education---than I have to ante up. But I'm not here to rave about C & D. Nope, I'm here to alert you--dear voter-- to another issue that will be on November's ballot. It's certainly not getting much press-- which is not surprising given the nature of this obscure ballot measure-- but the Denver Post did run a little article on it a few days ago, detailing how councilman Charlie Brown reacted to the manner in which the measure was being marketed. So what is this measure and what's the big deal??

A "yes" vote for ballot measure I-100 would essentially make it legal for anyone over 21 years of age to legally possess 1 ounce of marijuana IN DENVER. Bear in mind that if the measure passes, state law would still make possession a misdemeanor, but in Denver you'd be off the hook, technically. Alas, the local cops have decreed that they will continue to prosecute anyone in possession under state law, which essentially yanks the teeth from the ballot measure's maw. But that's not the real issue I want to visit. While I agree with councilman Brown that the way in which this measure is being marketed is misleading ( see article ), I disagree with him on the fundamental premise of the measure which suggests that limited marijuana consumption is less dangerous that an equivalent consumption of hooch.

Look, I don't smoke pot. It burns and makes me cough and besides, I prefer to burn my esophagus the old-fashioned way--with delicious, hearty booze. But do I think booze is more dangerous than marijuana consumption? Without question. How many people get shot, raped, hit by a drunk driver, beaten up, gay-bashed, or worse when there is alcohol involved? ALOT. How many of these things happen when someone is stoned or just a bit hazed? I'd venture to guess it doesn't happen alot. I'm 36 years old and have been around my fair share of drunks and stoners in my life and I can unequivocally say that the drunks are ALWAYS the ones who are belligerent and quick to start a fight. The stoners just lay back and enjoy the show. Sure, there are people who abuse marijuana and commit crimes and these folks should be arrested and punished, but what about all of the people who don't abuse it and use it recreationally? Why should they be prevented from using a mind-altering substance based on others' actions? It certainly isn't that way with alcohol. When a drunk Joe Sixpack down the street decides to hit little Susie with his car and then flee the scene, I'm not held accountable for his actions or prevented from consuming the same fifth of gin he did before he decided to be irresponsible. So why should it be ANY different for marijuana? Logically, it shouldn't. But those in power have deluded themselves into believing that marijuana is THE gateway drug to a spiraling vortex of soul-sucking, self-destruction. That's just pure BS. Wanna know what the REAL gateway drug is? 100% Legal Booze!! How many of you can say that marijuana was your FIRST drug? I'd think fairly few. Most of us as teens first experimented with altered states with whatever was in mom and dad's liquor cabinet ( or closet ). I know I did. And from most of the other anecdotes I've heard, so did almost everyone else.

So, I'm voting for ballot measure I-100 for several reasons, despite the fact that it will be a largely symbolic vote:

• I truly believe that most marijuana use is less dangerous than 2-3 legally consumed stiff drinks
• By legalizing a reasonable amount of weed, our jails would become less crowded, the police could focus on REAL crimes, and our citizens wouldn't be harassed for something which is largely a personal choice and affects no one else
• to stand against the utter hypocrisy of allowing citizens to walk 10 blocks in any direction and purchase something far more dangerous than a joint
  

This ends my Get Out the Vote initiative. Early voting has already started folks so BE...BE...BE BE AMERICAN!

Friday Fives

1. Have you ever been to the emergency room?

Yes; surprisingly enough, never as a youth. All my trips have been post-adolescent.

2. What's the worst pain you've ever had?

This one is easy. About a year ago, I somehow scratched my cornea in three places. It started out as a mildly irritating nuisance which I attributed to a dry contact lens or a piece of Honey Bunches of Oats lodged in my eye. By noon, my eye was twitching uncontrollably as it attempted to find some state of existence that did not result in searing pain. By one o'clock, I had to go to the emergency room where I quickly became addicted to some numbing drops they gave me. Oh Heaven! Then the bitches took them away, because apparently the drops were fairly acidic and overuse could result in even more corneal damage. At that point I didn't care: eyeballs be damned! Make the pain stop! At any rate, I suffered through 2 days of pain and goopy antibiotics. During the ordeal I learned two things:

• The cornea has the highest density of nerve receptors on the body, which makes sense considering how vital this "vision shield" is. This fact has the undesirable side effect of producing the searing pain I experienced.

• The cornea heals VERY quickly and in 2 days I was as good as new.

3. If you could choose your doctor, do you prefer someone of the same or opposite sex?

Is this a trick question? I prefer someone of the same sex. I just think a guy knows more about my body than a woman. I certainly wouldn't know the first thing about how a woman works. " Sssssssso...........how's everything up there?"

4. Do you take vitamins?

I take them sporadically. The tablet forms really aren't very bio-available and I refuse to pay $60 for a bottle of vitamins that I can get for free in my food.............like Honey Bunches of Oats!

5. Would you prefer to go to the doctor, the dentist or go sky diving?

I'd *prefer* to go skydiving with my hot, male doctor after we'd just had our teeth whitened. Fabulous!

Friday Fives

1. What kind of lighting is around you?

My new lab has a wall of windows facing east, so currently I am surrounded by an aura of natural sunshine goodness.

2. What do you think of your singing voice?

We've had this question before....and since that time, my singing voice has improved not one whit. To describe my singing voice is to use one word: untuned.

3. Who do you try to please?

Usually myself, because if you're not happy with yourself, there's little chance of making others happy.

4. Describe your last dream:

I don't recall dreams. This is something that has plagued me for the better part of my life. I know that I DO dream, because I can remember wisps of them from time to time, but I do wish I could remember them in all their detail. I'm sure they would be fantastic.........

5. When is the last time you bought flowers?

About 3 weeks ago and I just threw them out this morning which will warrant a trip to the flower shop to replace them. I heartily believe in fresh flowers at all times. It's part of my cheery chic design philosophy.

Friday Fives: Santa Fe Edition

1. When is the last time you lost your keys?

I've never lost my keys, as in never being able to find them again. However, being a.) blonde and b.) perpetually absent-minded, I lose my keys on an almost-daily basis. The last five minutes before my leaving for work are puncuated with harried questions as to the whereabouts of my keys and/or wallet. Fortunately for me, Robert or I ( usually Robert ) can track them down, saving us a small fortune in replaced locks and newly cut keys. We have a nice harlequin table in our foyer, perfect as a key repository. But why use that?

2. Are you likely to ask for directions when lost or to continue to wander?

Continuing the blonde theme....as most of my friends will tell you, my sense of direction is curiously mis-aligned with the earth's magnetic fields, rendering my navigation skills to the trash heap of dead and broken compasses. As a result, I have learned to ask for directions. To recognize one's weaknesses is a sign of intelligence and strength.....at least that's what I tell myself.

3. Numerology: reliable or just a load of bunk?

Numerology is right up there with those wacky stories of the Bible. Bunk, bunk, bunk.

4. Marilyn Monroe. Conspiracy or tragic accident?

Accident for sure. Tragic? Not so much. She was the 50s version of Anna Nicole Smith: a big-chested, kinda dumb, blonde bombshell who starred in so-so movies and liked exccesive amounts of pills and booze ( even by teen standards I might add ) making her even more dumb than previously alluded. If Anna Nicole bought it, would anyone care? I never understood the whole Marilyn thing. I mean she was fun, but her death was no tragedy; rather just a good old-fashioned scrubbing of the proverbial gene pool.

5. Favorite childhood sweets/candy?

Growing up I loved all candy. Halloween was a orgy of sucrose! If I had to pick a favorite though, it would be..........hmmmm. This is hard. I guess Twizzlers. They are still one of my favorites today.