Rants, Rumblings and Ruminations in D minor

Friday Fives

2006-05-19T13:10:00.000-07:00

1. Do you squeeze the toothpase tube or roll it? What's the advantage of your method?

I roll and squeeze my toothpaste tube. They work equally well in my estimation. To get to that last bit of tooth-whitening goodness though, I cut the end of the tube off and swab the inner remnants with my brush.

2. How many siblings do you have? What's your birth order?

One younger brother by about 2 years and a step-brother who is only 6 months separated from me. Even my grade school friends could recognize that 6 months was not enough time for a woman to gestate another kid, so that was always interesting to try and explain in my earlier years without somehow making my step-brother any "less" of a brother.

3. What is something you won? How did you win it?

I won a state-wide art prize in high school for a stippling drawing of a german shephard.

4. What is one of your nicknames? What do you prefer to be called?

I have more than one nickname. In no specific order, they are: Beaker, Beaks, Markus, Marky ( one of the oncologists I work with calls me this.....go figure ), M&M ( by virtue of my first and last names starting with the letter "M" ), or Marcus Aurelius. I prefer Beaker actually.

5. What's something your parents used to say to you as a child that you promised yourself you'd never say - but now you catch yourself saying it?

Praise Jesus? HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. Just kidding. My parents didn't even say that. Um, I can't think of anything really except something along the lines of " music today isn't what it used to be".

Draw me a Picture.................

2006-02-07T10:57:00.001-08:00

Anyone who has been following the news for the past 3-4 days is well aware of the Muslim outrage over satirical cartoons depicting the prophet Muhammad. According to Muslim law, it is forbidden to draw the Prophet as it could encourage idolatry which is against Muslim teachings. Radical Muslims also see this as yet another attack on Islam by the West and have since taken to the streets around the globe in violent protest. Quite frankly, I find the entire thing incredibly insane. Foreign embassies are being attacked, people have been KILLED and trade routes are being cut off all because of a cartoon? With respect, these radical Muslims need to realize that there is a good part of the world that does NOT practice their religion and thus could give two wits about a cartoon that--quite frankly--showcases the face of Islam that many of us are familiar with.
A couple of talking points:

First off, what this is REALLY about is a classic case of East meets West. What these enraged Muslims do not seem to grasp is that in a free society, the press is not controlled by the government and thus they can print whatever they damned well please. The press corps of Denmark, Germany, Italy ( and a host of other countries ) are under no obligation to recognize or adhere to Islamic law as these countries' laws are based on secular thought and not on religious texts. ( Kudos to the Europeans for giving the Muslims the proverbial "fuck you" by re-printing the cartoons to illustrate their commitment to freedom of speech. ) Muslims living in these countries would do well to remember that when you live in another country, you are making a social contract with the native people to adhere to the mores and laws of the land in which you are living. Thus, in a free society, you are certainly entitled to be angry about something which you find offensive, but you do NOT have the right to violently attack other people and their property. You do NOT have the right to quote scripture as some sort of justification for your actions because that is not the law. If these enraged Muslims feel that this is unfair, I suggest moving back to a Middle Eastern country where religious law is the norm.

The origin of these satirical cartoons can be traced right back to Islam itself, or at least the militant wing of it. By taking to the streets and shooting, looting and going mad, these Muslims are reinforcing the very stereotypes that were showcased in these drawings. In addition, I find it highly amusing that these very same people who are protesting in free countries can only do so because of the freedoms guaranteed them under these countries' unholy, secular laws. Funny how that works..................

The assertion that these cartoons are an attack on Islam is absurd. At best, they are a means to satirize the very real association of Islam with violence.......which has been going on since I can remember ( about 36 years ) and I think at least a few thousand years before. Newspapers and magazines in the U.S. routinely satirize Christianity and publish images that I'm sure right-wing Christians find offensive. And yet you don't see them on the streets looting and setting things ablaze and suggesting that our government censor our press. The price of living in a free society is having to deal with ideologies or points of view that are at odds with your own and in my estimation, it makes a country richer and fosters intelligent debate.

Finally, the latest rumblings from Iran suggest that an Iranian newspaper is soliciting cartoons satirizing the Holocaust to " test the West's resolve concerning free speech". To wit:

"Does Western free speech allow working on issues like America and Israel's crimes or an incident like the Holocaust or is this freedom of speech only good for insulting the holy values of divine religions?" wrote the Iranian daily Hamshahri, according to the Reuters news agency.

Clearly, these folks have never read The Onion or seen The Daily Show.

Glücklicher Geburtstag!!!!

2006-01-27T08:26:00.000-08:00

Today marks the 250th birthday of one W.A. Mozart. I could run on and on about his genius, his prolific output, his influence upon the greats which followed him, or his desire to be classical music's first "star". But I won't. Instead, I will simply revel in his music and sit in awe that 250 years later, we are still worshipping at the altar of Amadeus.

2006-01-06T10:31:00.000-08:00

1. If you perform a good act, but with bad intentions, does it still count as good Karma?

I'd have to say yes. To say no would imply that the "Karmic Force" could know my true intentions and I don't believe that there is some all-knowing force that can delve into my inner machinations. And besides, I'm sure we all have inadvertently performed good acts without even realizing it. In these cases, if you were to assume that INTENT was paramount in determining Karma, then even these unintentional acts would not count as "good" when clearly they result in a favorable outcome. In the end, its the RESULT that supersedes any INTENT............in my humble opinion anyway.

2. If there's an accidental good outcome to something you did, can you count it in your karma column? Is there truly such a thing as an accident?

I guess I partly answered this in Question One when I was speaking of inadvertent "good" acts. The take home message is: Outcome supersedes Intent.

As concerns whether there are true accidents, I guess it depends on what you think an accident "is" ( sorry to go all Clinton on you guys ). I like to think of accidents as a convergence of unforeseen events that result in equally unforeseen consequences. Therefore, if I accidentally perform a "good" karmic act, it really is not the result of my singular act, but rather the convergence of several events at a particular time. Had I performed this act at some other time it would not have the same effect. The "good" act arises out of my being in the right place in the right time. To believe that all karmic acts must be preconceived is irrational as we can never control all the variables the Universe hurls at us daily. Think of it as a bonus point to your "good" Karma Score!

3. What about white lies? Is it bad karma to say something you don't mean--knowing that it's nicer than what you were thinking?

I think white lies are a necessity for society to exist. If everyone went about spouting off what they really thought, we would have Anarchy......or at least more domestic violence. So my answer is that white lies are actually "good" because they foster a more functional society. As concerns Karma, since the white lie functions to make someone feel better or to prevent an unnecessary conflict, it is good, hence the modifier of White. If the lie is told, say, to seed discontent or to shift blame to someone else, then it ceases to become a White lie and becomes its antithesis: the Black lie. Or what we just normally call a lie........
Again, it all comes back to the OUTCOME, not the true INTENT.

4. Is a bad intention at all on the same level as a bad act? (For example, is thinking "I'd like to see him killed," on the same degree as 'pulling an MJ?') Christianity, and some criminal statutes seem to think so, but I don't happen to agree.

Absolutely not. It is human nature to have vicious thoughts from time to time. We are, after all, just highly-evolved animals with millions of years of instinct ingrained in our DNA. However, our social conditioning usually precludes us from acting on these feral and mean-spirited instincts, hi-lighting the importance of CHOICE. Feelings are not altogether controllable or even anticipated, but how we deal with them certainly is.

5. Is it good/bad to stick up for yourself, knowing that doing so will inflict harm on others?

I have to play Scientist here and play the "Survival of the Fittest" card. Sticking up for yourself is a pure act of self-preservation. I do agree with Roy though, that the manner in which you do so is very important to the larger Karmic balance. If you unnecessarily degrade others to elevate someone's view of yourself I should think that to be Bad Karma. If, on the other hand, you are defending yourself on the principles of rational thought and logic, then you get a gold star in the Good Karma column.

6. What obligation, if any, do we all have to look out for each other?

I don't know if we're obliged to help others, but I think we should help others. Once again, I'll play the Darwin card and suggest that ultimately we are all personally responsible for our own well-being, whether that entails relationships, ethics or moral values. I agree with Sage that we NEED to be advocates for those who cannot defend or be advocates for themselves. As far as Karma goes, I do think helping others certainly makes the world a better place and also enriches a person's life experiences. And in that case, Good Karma can be attained. But what about the person who performs good deeds for purely selfish reasons (i.e. to make one's self look better to one's peers)? I still think they can get Good Karma as the OUTCOME is still good, but they have to live with the knowledge that they are, in fact, not being genuinely altruistic. Which goes back to a person being ultimately responsible for their own well-being. Good Karma can be attained in many ways, its our choice on how we get it.

Friday Fives

2005-12-30T09:54:00.000-08:00

1. What Is Your Most Prized Material Possession?

My stereo speakers. I bought these monsters in 1988 and they still sound better than anything I've heard to date. Big, bulky and unwieldy, I will nonetheless amp those woofers and tweeters until they burst in a cacophony of sound.

2. What item, that you currently own, have you had the longest?

A quick search through the files in my head ( my god it's dusty in here! ) leads me to my collection of Star Wars comic books which I collected from 1979-1981. There may be something from an earlier time, but its the first thing I can recall without digging through all my stuff.

3. Are you a packrat?

Sort of. I've kept a few things that take me down Memory Lane from time to time and some odds and ends from my childhood. I'm not particularly sentimental; I don't feel I need "things" to recall my past and besides, my vague memory edits my past into a much more pleasing and abridged version.

As concerns everyday life, I don't really stash stuff away. I routinely clean out my wardrobe at least twice a year, although I do hold onto some stuff that will, quite frankly, come back into vogue. Then how cool will I be? I may be 60, but I'll be fashionable dammit!

4. Do you prefer a spic-and-span clean house? Or is some clutter necessary to avoid the appearance of a museum?

I like a clean house, especially since I have a very liberal "10 second rule" as concerns food hitting the floor. While our house isn't a museum, it is tidy and relatively clutter-free. However, my ever-growing collection of CDs is threatening to take over the living room and has metastasized into the bedroom.

5. Do the rooms in your house have a theme? Or is it a mixture of knick-knacks here and there?

Not really. If there is a Themed Room per se, it would be our reading alcove off the living room. We call it our Cost Plus/World Market World Tour Room. We essentially have a mix of bogus things on display that we have picked up from said stores and some genuine things that we have picked up in our travels.

Friday Fives

2005-12-02T09:58:00.000-08:00

1. What book has had the most significant impact on your life?

Curiously enough, the Holy Bible, for it was this book that helped me to form my views on life. At a rather early age ( around 10 ) I began to realize that:

the Bible was a essentially a collection of morality tales, kind of like Aesop's Fables but with a decidedly wackier twist. To wit: the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse, a world-wide flood and the erection of a tower to the heavens are just some of the more fantastical elements in this "historical document". But beyond all this fantasy is a book which generally gives instructions on how to live a better life, much like the hundreds of recipes in my Mr. Boston's Bartender Guide----- and who can say that's a bad thing?
people who took the Bible literally were just as wacky as the stories contained in it. I found these people to be uninformed about the world about them and generally ignorant and thus found myself attracted to non-church-going folk, ergo my assorted and motley friends that have drifted in and out of my life over the years.

2. What is the worst lie you've ever told?

I take the 5th. Some things do not belong on a public blog.

3. If you could write your own epitaph, what would it say?

I plan on being cremated and allowing the winds to scatter my remains to the four corners of the earth. Think of it as a delicate sprinkling of Fairy Dust over the entire globe. If I had to write an epitaph though, it would be: Have I Been Raptured Yet?

4. If you could have chosen you name what would it have been?

Actually, I have always liked my middle name--Christopher. I contemplated using it when moving here, but its probably a good thing I didn't, as several of my friends are named Chris or Christopher. Did you know that Christopher means "full of Christ"? We soooooo didn't get *that* memo.

5. What is in the trunk, or back, of your car?

A spare tire and jumper cables and a tarp. Don't ask what the tarp is for....................

Friday Fives

2005-11-18T08:40:00.000-08:00

1. What is your favorite "Friends" episode?

Hands down, the Thanksgiving episode where Brad Pitt plays the old high school friend who used to be fat. One of his best roles ever, right up there with his tic-ridden activist in Twelve Monkeys. YAMS!

2. Who would be in your historical threesome?

I have no idea as my knowledge of historical likenesses ranks right up there with my knowledge of 17th century Dutch mercantile practices. If the young, 12 century King Philip looked anything like the young Timothy Dalton who portrayed him, he'd definitely be a candidate. Oh and I guess I'd throw in England's contemporary Prince William . Viva la France and God Save the Queen!

3. What foods have you forced yourself to eat this year that you usually don't eat?

Nothing. I have never "forced" myself to eat anything. I'll try anything once. If I don't like it, I'm not going to eat it again. Period.

4. Given the opportunity and a clear shot, what would you most like to steal?

Without a doubt, the winning lottery numbers. Unfortunate as it sounds, money is the means to many ends, not least of which include the wherewithal to pursue your fancies and the freedom to do so.

5. In life, we make choices. What have you chickened out of doing?

Hmmmmmm. The first thing that comes to mind is lacking the balls to break up with my ex-lover. I wasn't good at dealing with conflict ( and still don't really like it, but have learned that it is a sometime necessity in life ) and in the end, Robert ended up being the de facto heart-breaker. To this day, it is something I regret and am ashamed of, but something which made me grow.

Rip now or forever hold your peace

2005-11-14T11:28:00.000-08:00

iTunes is a smash. Over 500 million songs have been legally downloaded at the wildly successful site and millions more at other less successful ones. Score one for the music industry. Peer to peer networks have been shut down or have been forced to go legit, but this has failed to marginalize rampant piracy. Let's take that point back. And so it goes, a series of victories and defeats for the music industry, a sort of tennis match where the players are us (The Consumers) and them (The Music Industry) and at stake is copyright protection. All the while, the music industry still continues to "hemorrhage" cash and whines that people aren't buying music anymore.

Perhaps realizing that it will never stamp out internet piracy, the next strategy is to schedule a re-match. At stake this time is DRM. And from the looks of it, The Consumer is getting ready to climb the net and beat their opponent silly. DRM, to date, has been an abysmal failure. Sony BMG recently was accused of installing malware on consumer's computers via its DRM software and had to release a "patch" to overcome it. No consumer I know wants to be limited in how they use their legally purchased music, but the music companies STILL don't get it. Don't believe me? Read this little ditty that came from a Times article I read just this morning:

After years of battling users of free peer-to-peer file-sharing networks (and the software companies that support them), the recording industry now identifies "casual piracy" - the simple copying and sharing of CD's with friends - as the biggest threat to its bottom line.

That, my friends, turns my blood cold. The only thing that can come from this is an even more draconian attempt by the RIAA and the music industry to limit what we do with our legally purchased music. How, exactly, is this different than copying a cassette tape? And does the RIAA interfering with the use of my music infringe upon my fair-use rights guaranteed in copyright law? I think it does and as a consumer, the music industry would do well to listen to me and others like me. We purchase their music ( or at least the stuff that's worth buying nowadays) and will cease doing so when it becomes too cumbersome to simply load a CD into our players and press play. As it stands now, different DRM schemes from different companies make interoperability a quaint fantasy. The music companies can't even decide upon ONE copyright protection scheme so how can we possibly expect them to agree on what is important to consumers? The sad fact is that music companies are not interested one whit in artists' rights. They are only interested in their bottom lines. And until that paradigm changes, we'll all suffer for it...............

Friday Fives

2005-11-11T09:27:00.000-08:00

1. What is your favorite noise to hear?

That single isolated note from an oboe followed by the rich tapestry of an orchestra tuning itself to it. Gets me every time..........

2. If you could live in any era of time, what would you choose and why?

18th century Vienna: Haydn, Mozart, Beethoven. Enough said. Of course I'd need my Life Longevity pills so I could witness the flowering of all three, so to that end, I'd need to live in the future first.

3. You just found $50 while cleaning your house. Where do you decide to spend it?

I'd use it to buy our Thanksgiving turkey.

4. What magazines to you subscribe to/read on a normal basis?

I don't currently subscribe to any magazines. I get all my juicy gossip and fashion advice on the interweb.

5. If you could witness any event in history, but not change anything about it, what would you choose and why?

That's a tough one. I think I would've liked to see the premier of Beethoven's 9th symphony. It is said that the composer had to be turned towards the audience to hear its thundering applause. A tragic and ironic moment to be sure, but I think that seeing his face upon realizing the outpouring of love for his grandest symphony may have moved me to tears.

George W. Bush & the Temple of Doom

2005-11-09T12:37:00.000-08:00

I love being right. Not only does it serve my sense of ego ( who doesn't like to be right? ) but more importantly, when things play out as I had predicted, my thought and logic processes-- two things near and dear to me-- get validated. Why this sudden rumination? The Republicans, dear reader, are imploding. Those good folks who have lead our country into our current economic, political, ideological, scientific and domestic morass are starting to show their true colors to Everyman Joe. It's almost too good to be true. Sad that it takes this much scandal and bad judgment to wake Idiot America up, but still welcome. Better late than never.....so they say. What will eventually come from all of this has yet to be determined, but it sure is a hoot to watch. Much as the Jews weep over the ruins of the temple that Herod built, the Republicans must be fast erecting their own Wailing Wall to weep over the house that W. built. So many cracks have appeared in Bush's Temple that one more might just bring the whole teetering contraption down. Let's look at the Temple's current state of affairs..............

Plamegate continues to nip at the President's heels. Even when he's out of the country ( provoking mass anti-Bush demonstrations ) he can't escape this transparent retaliation against someone at odds with his administration's policies. Funny thing is, the Republicans have just started their own investigation into how details about the U.S.'s secret prisons were leaked to the Washington Post. As Salon reports, Senator Frist and House Speaker Hastert were first "alarmed" by the "dangerous trend" concerning the leaking of sensitive information. This smacks of so much irony; apparently the outing of a CIA undercover operative doesn't alarm these folks. They quickly changed their story though when it was revealed--by Trent Lott nonetheless-- that the leak was most likely connected to Republicans. Now they seem more worried about the existence of these secret prisons rather than how they came to light. Secret prisons in the shadow of Abu Ghraib does not look good for our Fearless Leader. But its a nice seque into the next crack in George's Temple!

Dick "Big Time" Cheney has spent the better part of the past week lobbying in the Senate for a CIA exemption on torture. When confronted with this astonishing fact, Bush and mouthpiece Scott McClellan answered with their usual directness. Scott suggested we check out Dick's website for answers. WTF? For this administration to be contemplating government-sanctioned torture is almost unthinkable. Apparently, the Geneva Conventions don't apply to the War on Terror. Rumsfeld and Co. plan to get their faulty intelligence........one way or the other.

All 8 members of the crack Dover, Pennsylvania school board who approved the inclusion of Intelligent Design in biology classes were given the heave-ho. I now have renewed faith in my home state. Now if Rick Santorum would just spontaneously combust................

In light of "scooter" Libby's indictment, Bush is sending everyone back to ethics school! Wow, I feel better now. The Times also reports that Libby is accepting donations for his legal defense; sorry Salvation Army, I already gave!!

Senator Carl M. Levin released a 2002 intelligence report to the Times detailing how the administration was warned about likely faulty intelligence. Of course, little things like this were not going to deter Our Fearless Leader from marching us to war, so he ( and a good many others ) used this information to convince the American people that war was justified. This is a particularly damning piece of information and I hope it serves as the kindling that will light a much larger, all-consuming bonfire.

Tom Delay may actually have implicated himself in the fund-raising scandal swirling around him. In what amounts to an admission of guilt, Delay " acknowledged that he knew about and supported a plan to transfer $190,000 in mostly corporate campaign contributions from his political action committee in Texas to the RNC in Washington and then back to Republican candidates in Texas. " Who did he say this to? The lead prosecutor Ronnie Earle. Delay may want to get a copy of " Campaign-finance Money Laundering For Dummies " and skip to chapter 5 where it covers the topic of "the coverup". Silly me.........he probably doesn't read.

None of this changes the fact that we have 3 more years under this corrupt, inept administration, but at least with all of this drama, it will be fun to watch. With Bush's popularity at an all time low, he is desperately clinging to the events of 9/11 to keep his administration afloat. He invokes it constantly, using it as a pretext for his War on Terror and to keep the "fear of a terrorist attack" alive and well. If I didn't know better, I'd say he's planning a sequel to building his Temple of Doom: George W. Bush & the Last Crusade.

.....and I'll huff...and I'll puff..........and I'll vote for I-100!!

2005-10-18T10:32:00.000-07:00

As anyone in Denver knows, the upcoming elections have been dominated by referendums C & D which, if passed, will essentially unlink the draconian ratchet-effect of TABOR from Colorado's budget. I'm certainly voting for it as I think its the fiscally proper thing to do; as a citizen of Colorado, I can't have my cake and eat it, so if I want services---like, say, higher education---than I have to ante up. But I'm not here to rave about C & D. Nope, I'm here to alert you--dear voter-- to another issue that will be on November's ballot. It's certainly not getting much press-- which is not surprising given the nature of this obscure ballot measure-- but the Denver Post did run a little article on it a few days ago, detailing how councilman Charlie Brown reacted to the manner in which the measure was being marketed. So what is this measure and what's the big deal??

A "yes" vote for ballot measure I-100 would essentially make it legal for anyone over 21 years of age to legally possess 1 ounce of marijuana IN DENVER. Bear in mind that if the measure passes, state law would still make possession a misdemeanor, but in Denver you'd be off the hook, technically. Alas, the local cops have decreed that they will continue to prosecute anyone in possession under state law, which essentially yanks the teeth from the ballot measure's maw. But that's not the real issue I want to visit. While I agree with councilman Brown that the way in which this measure is being marketed is misleading ( see article ), I disagree with him on the fundamental premise of the measure which suggests that limited marijuana consumption is less dangerous that an equivalent consumption of hooch.

Look, I don't smoke pot. It burns and makes me cough and besides, I prefer to burn my esophagus the old-fashioned way--with delicious, hearty booze. But do I think booze is more dangerous than marijuana consumption? Without question. How many people get shot, raped, hit by a drunk driver, beaten up, gay-bashed, or worse when there is alcohol involved? ALOT. How many of these things happen when someone is stoned or just a bit hazed? I'd venture to guess it doesn't happen alot. I'm 36 years old and have been around my fair share of drunks and stoners in my life and I can unequivocally say that the drunks are ALWAYS the ones who are belligerent and quick to start a fight. The stoners just lay back and enjoy the show. Sure, there are people who abuse marijuana and commit crimes and these folks should be arrested and punished, but what about all of the people who don't abuse it and use it recreationally? Why should they be prevented from using a mind-altering substance based on others' actions? It certainly isn't that way with alcohol. When a drunk Joe Sixpack down the street decides to hit little Susie with his car and then flee the scene, I'm not held accountable for his actions or prevented from consuming the same fifth of gin he did before he decided to be irresponsible. So why should it be ANY different for marijuana? Logically, it shouldn't. But those in power have deluded themselves into believing that marijuana is THE gateway drug to a spiraling vortex of soul-sucking, self-destruction. That's just pure BS. Wanna know what the REAL gateway drug is? 100% Legal Booze!! How many of you can say that marijuana was your FIRST drug? I'd think fairly few. Most of us as teens first experimented with altered states with whatever was in mom and dad's liquor cabinet ( or closet ). I know I did. And from most of the other anecdotes I've heard, so did almost everyone else.

So, I'm voting for ballot measure I-100 for several reasons, despite the fact that it will be a largely symbolic vote:

I truly believe that most marijuana use is less dangerous than 2-3 legally consumed stiff drinks
By legalizing a reasonable amount of weed, our jails would become less crowded, the police could focus on REAL crimes, and our citizens wouldn't be harassed for something which is largely a personal choice and affects no one else
to stand against the utter hypocrisy of allowing citizens to walk 10 blocks in any direction and purchase something far more dangerous than a joint

This ends my Get Out the Vote initiative. Early voting has already started folks so BE...BE...BE BE AMERICAN!

Friday Fives

2005-10-14T08:54:00.000-07:00

1. Have you ever been to the emergency room?

Yes; surprisingly enough, never as a youth. All my trips have been post-adolescent.

2. What's the worst pain you've ever had?

This one is easy. About a year ago, I somehow scratched my cornea in three places. It started out as a mildly irritating nuisance which I attributed to a dry contact lens or a piece of Honey Bunches of Oats lodged in my eye. By noon, my eye was twitching uncontrollably as it attempted to find some state of existence that did not result in searing pain. By one o'clock, I had to go to the emergency room where I quickly became addicted to some numbing drops they gave me. Oh Heaven! Then the bitches took them away, because apparently the drops were fairly acidic and overuse could result in even more corneal damage. At that point I didn't care: eyeballs be damned! Make the pain stop! At any rate, I suffered through 2 days of pain and goopy antibiotics. During the ordeal I learned two things:

The cornea has the highest density of nerve receptors on the body, which makes sense considering how vital this "vision shield" is. This fact has the undesirable side effect of producing the searing pain I experienced.

The cornea heals VERY quickly and in 2 days I was as good as new.

3. If you could choose your doctor, do you prefer someone of the same or opposite sex?

Is this a trick question? I prefer someone of the same sex. I just think a guy knows more about my body than a woman. I certainly wouldn't know the first thing about how a woman works. " Sssssssso...........how's everything up there?"

4. Do you take vitamins?

I take them sporadically. The tablet forms really aren't very bio-available and I refuse to pay $60 for a bottle of vitamins that I can get for free in my food.............like Honey Bunches of Oats!

5. Would you prefer to go to the doctor, the dentist or go sky diving?

I'd *prefer* to go skydiving with my hot, male doctor after we'd just had our teeth whitened. Fabulous!

Friday Fives

2005-10-07T08:35:00.000-07:00

1. What kind of lighting is around you?

My new lab has a wall of windows facing east, so currently I am surrounded by an aura of natural sunshine goodness.

2. What do you think of your singing voice?

We've had this question before....and since that time, my singing voice has improved not one whit. To describe my singing voice is to use one word: untuned.

3. Who do you try to please?

Usually myself, because if you're not happy with yourself, there's little chance of making others happy.

4. Describe your last dream:

I don't recall dreams. This is something that has plagued me for the better part of my life. I know that I DO dream, because I can remember wisps of them from time to time, but I do wish I could remember them in all their detail. I'm sure they would be fantastic.........

5. When is the last time you bought flowers?

About 3 weeks ago and I just threw them out this morning which will warrant a trip to the flower shop to replace them. I heartily believe in fresh flowers at all times. It's part of my cheery chic design philosophy.

Friday Fives: Santa Fe Edition

2005-10-01T17:10:00.000-07:00

1. When is the last time you lost your keys?

I've never lost my keys, as in never being able to find them again. However, being a.) blonde and b.) perpetually absent-minded, I lose my keys on an almost-daily basis. The last five minutes before my leaving for work are puncuated with harried questions as to the whereabouts of my keys and/or wallet. Fortunately for me, Robert or I ( usually Robert ) can track them down, saving us a small fortune in replaced locks and newly cut keys. We have a nice harlequin table in our foyer, perfect as a key repository. But why use that?

2. Are you likely to ask for directions when lost or to continue to wander?

Continuing the blonde theme....as most of my friends will tell you, my sense of direction is curiously mis-aligned with the earth's magnetic fields, rendering my navigation skills to the trash heap of dead and broken compasses. As a result, I have learned to ask for directions. To recognize one's weaknesses is a sign of intelligence and strength.....at least that's what I tell myself.

3. Numerology: reliable or just a load of bunk?

Numerology is right up there with those wacky stories of the Bible. Bunk, bunk, bunk.

4. Marilyn Monroe. Conspiracy or tragic accident?

Accident for sure. Tragic? Not so much. She was the 50s version of Anna Nicole Smith: a big-chested, kinda dumb, blonde bombshell who starred in so-so movies and liked exccesive amounts of pills and booze ( even by teen standards I might add ) making her even more dumb than previously alluded. If Anna Nicole bought it, would anyone care? I never understood the whole Marilyn thing. I mean she was fun, but her death was no tragedy; rather just a good old-fashioned scrubbing of the proverbial gene pool.

5. Favorite childhood sweets/candy?

Growing up I loved all candy. Halloween was a orgy of sucrose! If I had to pick a favorite though, it would be..........hmmmm. This is hard. I guess Twizzlers. They are still one of my favorites today.

Friday Fives

2005-09-23T09:05:00.000-07:00

1. What is the most fun things you have done this summer?

It has been a curiously "non-event" summer for me. It hasn't been bad, but nothing leaps out at me as Great Fun. Sigh..................

2. What are you listening to now?

I've been listening to Kasabian's self-titled release, Hold On Little Tomato by Pink Martini and quite a bit of Sibelius' violin concerto.

3. In what state do you live?

Buoyant energy coupled with a healthy dose of pragmatism.

4. Last book/s you read?

The latest Harry Potter ( agree with Roy---plodding but the payoff was good )
The Historian
Currently reading The Chronicles of Narnia for the first time.

5.Are you ready for fall?

What a silly question. I am looking forward to the cooler weather and , more importantly, the ability to begin layering my clothes. I think autumn lends itself to fashion much more easily than the other seasons and fall colors go with my complexion :) Have I outed myself yet?

Friday Fives

2005-09-16T08:51:00.000-07:00

1. Name one thing you've quit:

Listening to the radio; even public radio where all the fancy classical music is. The endless, repetitive loops of music played on commercial radio serve no other purpose than to transform the occasionally entertaining song into one which grates on every nerve I have, thus ensuring that I will hate it for all eternity. Public radio suffers from the seemingly relentless onslaught of begging for funds. I recall that this used to occur bi-annually but now it seems that every time I tune in the hosts are shilling for funds. I know times are tough for public radio, but I can't deal with it. Thank Christ/Allah/Buddah/FSM for the digital age where I can play what I want when I want it.

2. Name something you've won:

One time in Austin, on New Year's Eve, at a hot sweaty gay club, I was the winner of $100 at the midnight balloon drop. This of course allowed those in our party to get even MORE drunk than we already were.

3. Describe a subject in school you do poorly in:

Organic Chemistry. This subject is used as a "weeder" course in the pre-med curriculum. I struggled my ass off to learn about enantiomers, the differences between an aldehyde and a......um..... I don't know, a potato? I ended up with a C in the course, my only one in college.

4. Have you ever purposely not done your best?

No. I may do it subconsciously, but never purposefully.

5. Do you lead, follow, or get out of the way?

Depends on the situation. I do like teaching people but can't stand those who require the same thing be explained to them over and over. I will get out of the way and follow if I realize that I'm in over my head. I have no problem admitting I don't know something. How else to learn about it if you can't admit you don't know about it? DUH!

Friday Fives

2005-09-09T16:21:00.000-07:00

1. What was the first song you remember hearing and enjoying on the radio?

This makes my head hurt. I am almost uncertain that it was something by Creedence. Maybe Green River? Then again, maybe not.

2. If you could only listen to five CDs for a year, which five would they be? (Boxed sets can count as one CD. Sigh.)

This is kind of difficult for me as my tastes in music range from gritty, goth-industrial to chruch-going Bach. My eclecticism demands a panoply of choices, but here it goes.......

Mozart's Requiem
Music For the Masses- Depeche Mode
Mendelsshon's Octet in E
When I Said I Wanted To Be Your Dog- Jens Lekman
Beethoven's string quartet No. 11 in F minor, "serioso"

3. What was your favorite year, music-wise?

That would be 1988, the year I escaped to Europe and subsequently battered the door down to my dreadfully cramped closet. Until that time, my concept of "pop music" consisted of whatever drivel Casey Kasem foisted over the airwaves every Saturday. The Big Gay World exposed me to great bands like Front 242, Skinny Puppy, New Order, Depeche Mode, The Smiths, Erasure, Sisters of Mercy and all that faboo dance music that the gay boys writhe to on the meatmarket dance floors of Europe. It's not only the sheer amount of music I was exposed to that makes this year noteable but also the fact that it was so DIFFERENT ( and better I might add ) from what I had been listening to. Needless to say, it changed my listening habits for the rest of my life. As I write this I'm listening to a little ditty called Una notte a Napoli performed by a great ensemble who call themselves Pink Martini. Now where's my wine?

4. If you could witness one historical music event through all time, what would you pick, and why?

Most likely the premier of Haydn's "miracle" symphony. Why? Well, as history has it, during the performance a great chandelier came crashing down on the unsuspecting crowd. The image of all that mayhem set to classical music is just too much to resist. A small historical footnote........the symphony which we ascribe the title "miracle" is the 96th when in fact, this event occurred during the 102nd symphony. I'm not sure how the moniker got attached to the wrong symphony........maybe the 102nd symphony sucks and the story was just too good to let disappear into the ether. Come to think of it, I'm not sure I've even heard the 102nd symphony............

note to self: procure recording of 102nd to see if it does indeed suck.

5. Do you have a song that never fails to cheer you up? What is it and why does it do that for you?

Not really a song but rather a piece of music. The third movement to Mendelssohn's Octet in E is pure magic. Whimsical, light and cheery, it can always pull me from the grasp of my doldrums and realign my emoto-meter. Hey, we Vulcans need all the help we can get! A very close runner-up is Dayful of Song by Gershwin. Toe-tapping, finger-snapping music that is sure to blow the blues away..........

.........but gas prices are going up!!!

2005-09-02T09:47:00.000-07:00

Hurricane Katrina has wrecked havoc like no other, essentially inundating an entire American city and seemingly, our ability to deal with it. Nearly four days after Katrina slammed into the gulf coast, people are still awaiting rescue, awaiting food and water, awaiting evacuation. We've all seen the images and read the reports and seen the TV footage. It's deplorable and at the same time mind-boggling that this government's response has been so utterly lackluster. What exactly has the Dept. of Homeland Security (DHS) been doing since 9/11? Given that everyone knew that a category 5 storm was headed towards New Orleans almost a week before it actually hit, the government's response is truly appalling and reveals just how unprepared this nation is to deal with a major crisis four years after 9/11. Even more unsettling is the fact that this very same scenario could've been played out as a terrorist attack, without the convenience of weather report warnings and such. Had this been a terrorist attack, how much worse would the response have been? Given the government's recent show of ineptitude, one can only surmise that a terrorist attack would've been even more devastating........

As if all this is not enough, the suffering in New Orleans is being eclipsed by everyone's fear and apprehension about gasoline prices. I know that for those of us far-removed from the utter horror of the Superdome, this is the most tangible effect of Katrina, but the human devastation far eclipses your average American having to dig a little deeper into his pocket to fill his gas tank. I'm sick of people complaining that gas prices are soaring. I don't understand this. People are DYING from lack of food, medicine and water! People are surviving ( you cannot call it living ) in unsanitary conditions, sweltering in the heat surrounded by feces, urine and dead bodies covered in blankets. Corpses are floating in the streets. Looting is rampant. Civilization has collapsed. Who gives a damn about gas prices? They were escalating anyway and now they will be even higher. You know what I say? It's been a long time coming so get over it. This country has been spoiled by cheap gasoline prices and the resultant orgy of truly energy-inefficient vehicles for far too long and the chickens are coming home to roost. Yes, higher gas prices are going to hurt your pocketbook and strain some families but the time to air those grievances is not now. Maybe after the city of New Orleans has been drained of all floodwaters, its infrastructure re-built, its homes and property rebuilt, its businesses re-opened and its people return home..................

yeah, then we can bitch about high gas prices.

Friday Fives

2005-09-02T09:09:00.000-07:00

1. Link to your local news source: Denver Post

2. Link to your favorite dessert: Raspberry chocolate mousse baby!!

3. Link to a band that you despise: Mariah. Even her web-site spouts innane pop drivel.

4. Link us to a good book: Guns, Germs & Steel by Jared Diamond.

5. Link to your favorite Muppet: Statler & Waldorf

Friday Fives

2005-08-26T09:04:00.000-07:00

1. What if any instrument do you play?

I played the e-flat alto saxophone for 9 years....from 3rd to 12th grade. I was pretty damned good too. I played in the concert, marching and jazz bands ( the latter being my favorite ). I remember, one time in concert band, that we did this concert version of Careless Whisper and I got to do the sax solo. That was as close to musical stardom as I've ever come. I also taught myself to play somewhat good piano; at my pinnacle I had learned the first movement of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata and now I'm lucky to be able to clack and peck through "chopsticks".

2. If you could choose to play an instrument what would it be?

I would love to learn to properly play the piano. I'd like to be able to walk into a bar--- or even better, a quiet hotel lobby--- and hammer out some boogie woogie in the manner of Chopin. How fun would *that* be? As a back up, the violin would be my second choice. I wonder if Sarah Chang is giving lessons?

3. If you were in a band, what would your band's name be?

I've never really thought about it. I will mull this over and get back to you through the power of the blog edit.

4. What type of music would your band play?

I like so many kinds of music that this is difficult to answer. I think I'd like my band to be versatile. That way instead of doing one 2 hour show, we could do 4-5 mini shows. We'd segue from synth-pop to shoe-gazing to goth to classical and maybe end up at swing. Think of the queue line for *that* show.

5. Would you continue to be good for years to come, or would you and your band end up in Branson playing for bus loads of elderly?

We'd be good for years to come because we wouldn't pigeonhole ourselves and could adapt. But when we did get old and the heralded gates of Branson beckoned, we'd just play things that Depends-wearing, intubated, oxygen-huffing geezers could enjoy..........like a looping TV commerical jingle CD.

When Doctors Go Bad...........

2005-08-19T14:59:00.000-07:00

Bill Frist is an idiot. Notwithstanding that he is a staunch Republican, Bill Frist is an idiot for being an embarrassment to the medical community and to doctors in particular. Here's the latest statement concerning Intelligent Design from the man whose website proudly announces him as Bill Frist, M.D. ( as if somehow being an M.D. makes him a better senator ). To wit:

"I think today a pluralistic society should have access to a broad range of fact, of science, including faith,"

He then follows it up with this intellectual gem:

"I think in a pluralistic society that is the fairest way to go about education and training people for the future."

Let's dissect the first statement shall we? I'm all for a pluralistic society having access to facts, science and even faith. And we do. We get facts and science in school and faith at church. But once again, this administration-- beholden to the right wing, bible-thumping, lobby-- seeks to introduce Creationism into our schools under the cleverly invented moniker of Intelligent Design ( ID ) after failing to do so using the oh-so-Christian Creationism label. Let's face it folks, Creationism isn't supported by facts, observations or testable hypotheses. As far as proper science goes, its loony and unsupported and it has no place being presented in a science class. Period. Now let's look at that second phrase. This strikes me as even more surreal as on the one hand senator Frist is touting the need to "train" people for the future and on the other is actually suggesting that our schools take time away from meaningful science to teach this religious mumbo-jumbo that is already taught in the church. Doesn't that strike you as odd? At a time when U.S. students are performing miserably in math and science, Dr. Frist would rather have us learn how God is somehow responsible for evolution rather than chance mutations, something generally accepted the world over. This sort of teaching will, of course, propel American students to the fore-front of science. The hell with Newtonian Physics and the Theory of Evolution, let's study how God made the sea snake! Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is looking better all the time.............

Here's more food for thought.......

This is the same renowned cardiologist who was able to diagnose Terri Schiavo after viewing a video tape for just ONE HOUR, essentially refuting the observations, data gathering and expert medical opinions amassed over the past 15 years. Now that's some medicine!

This is also the same guy who when asked by George Stephanopoulos (on his ABC news show) if HIV could be transmitted by tears or sweat, indicated that it could happen, which of course has been resoundingly refuted by almost everyone from medical groups to AIDS activists to those of us who have lived under the spectre of AIDS our entire adult lives. Oh, and he also said that condoms have a 15% failure rate, another outright lie. A doctor takes an oath to "do no harm"; clearly, Dr. Frist needs to review that oath as he is willingly spreading misinformation about this deadly disease and its prevention.

This guy is an embarrassment not only to himself but the entire medical community. I wouldn't let this hack near my heart if he were the last cardiologist on the planet. And besides, he probably wouldn't want to work on me anyway.......you know, he might catch "gay"...cause you know, in terms of infecting somebody, it would be hard, but possible.

Dumbass.

Friday Fives

2005-08-19T10:03:00.000-07:00

1. Flu season is around the corner. How do you handle the seasonal head cold?

I don't really get sick, and if I do its usually the "scratchy throat" sort of cold. So, head colds are sort of foreign to me.

2. Aspirin? Tylenol? Motrin? Which side of the line are you on?

I don't usually take pills. I should take an aspirin a day for my heart as I'm approaching 40, but I don't. I run, which has the added benefit of cleaning out my pores via sweat. I do take the occasional tylenol when I get the occasional hangover, but that's fairly rare ( although becoming a bit more common as I get older ).

3. What was your favorite meal served at your elementary school?

Wow, that would have to be a dead-heat race between the Mystery Meat and whatever gruel was served on fridays to clear out the kitchen for the following week of culinary atrocities. Seriously though, I did pack my lunch quite a bit, so my favorite "meal" was a ham and cheese sandwich with mustard, on white bread, with Lays potato chips added for that extra crunch. YUMMY. Damn, I forgot how much I loved those.......I may go home and make one this evening.

4. One preseason game is out of the way. Do the Broncos stand a chance this year?

Preseason? Are we talking fashion here? I don't know if the Broncos stand a chance........all I know is that Jake Plummer needs to get that freakin' lazy eye fixed. I can't be rooting for someone who looks like Quasimodo. In fact, can't we trade for Tom Brady? He's so dreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeamy.

5. What does your mom do to make you cry?

My biological mother passed away when I was 4 and my stepmother and I haven't spoken for the last 7 years. So nothing.

Birthday Musings

2005-08-16T13:28:00.000-07:00

36. Thirty-Six. 30 + 6. However you parse it, I'm rapidly approaching 40. I don't feel 36....more like 26, but Time is an insufferable bitch for details. So I grudgingly accept the fact that I'm a 36 year old who feels 26, and pays his friends the mighty sum of $1 to keep my public age below 30. Although, I guess by writing this, I'm sort of subverting the concept of said dollar. Sorry bitches, no more dollars for you!

That's me on the left ( with the unkempt hair) with my good friend Ed (foreground) & one of my other good friends Roy ( in the background). Eddie and I celebrate our birthdays together as we're only 5 days apart and this year marked the 4th Anniversary of the Minor Celebrity Birthday Extravaganza. This year, we went to a relatively new Czech sports bar down on South Broadway. The food was good and the Czechvars better. The surprise highlight of the evening was the karoke rendition of Strokin sung by a rather portly guy sporting white socks with sandals, who had clearly consumed a copious amount of alcoholic Czech goodness. Surprisingly, he was pretty good, even with his weird can can-like dancing. This was followed by an en masse re-location to Charlie's, the local gay country-western/dance/bear/twink/pick-up bar. No boot-scootin' took place, I can assure you, although I think I cleaned the house of gin. All in all, a good birthday. I scored great gifts which included a swanky dress watch, a distressed blazer, some music, and an ice cream maker. I HEART ice cream. Stay tuned for the upcoming "before and after" pics.

Now on to the musings, the subject of this tirade:

I'm not afraid of getting older per se. I find that as I'm getting older, I tend to take stock of things a bit more though. Where am I in my life? What have I accomplished? What do I still have left to accomplish? Am I where I want to be? What WILL happen when I die? As concerns the latter, I have a pretty good feeling that I'll be worm food, but that's for another day's post. Gone are the simple questions and musings such as "which action figures will take on my weeble army today? Stormtroopers or Shogun warriors?"

I find as I get older, I am preoccupied with things I never dreamt I would be. Case in point: Politics. I remember sitting at the Kids' Table with my brothers and cousins at Family Gatherings ( a euphemism for a DrunkFest to be sure ) and hearing the raucous and downright violent discussions over Nixon, or Carter or some such pol. I'd always wondered what all the fuss was about. Now I get it. As we get older, that blissful state of worldly ignorance which characterizes so much of childhood oozes away. Nature abhors a vacuum, and so our ignorance is replaced with all manners of detail on the environment, war, oppression,success, death, economics and race. Sometimes Nature forgets to do this I think; ergo the teeming masses of mouth-breathers breeding and voting today, which in the end, is just another thing for people like me to stress over.

One thing I always vowed I would never let happen to me as I aged was to lose my sense of humor and that sense of playfulness which characterizes our youth; essentially, to never grow up entirely, to be a bit of a Peter Pan. I'm pleased to say that I've been true to myself and accomplished this quite well, balancing it effortlessly with my "adult" life. I'm a professional, I've always had a job and have never asked for anything ( well I asked once and was refused, so I vowed never to do it again ). I put myself through school, have been in the Army and live a decent life, pay my bills and taxes and do all the things required of a responsible adult. But I also do things that are downright silly and/or youthful. Go out dancing and drinking until 4am? Sure! Host parties at my place that last until the sun comes up? Why not! Enjoy turning my house into a danceclub using strobe lights and a fog machine? You betcha! Do silly things around the house which only my other half knows about? Absosmurfly! Enjoy Harry Potter? Sure! Conduct a symphony standing in front of my stereo? Sure! Roll around in the grass? Sure! Display toys in my office? Sure! ( I currently display a model of the Millenium Falcon and a lunchbox which says " Syphilis is the Enemy! " ) The list of silly things goes on and on and I've been blessed with friends, a partner and a brother who actively engage in these sorts of things as well. For instance, my friends and I have concocted no less than 4 imaginary characters of which, Patty the Triangle Player, is the latest addition. ( Patty is an alcoholic triangle player for the Denver Symphony Orchestra. She has just released the Best of Patty, her debut CD. ) "What's the upshot to all of this silliness?" you ask. All I know is that my friends and I have more fun than we should be having at our ages, and probably more than most people are right now. We are a shining example of what we call the "teen spirit", and only those able to enjoy our odd humor and wackiness get "in" with us. Many have been shown the door after only one introduction. Sorry folks!-- but I just don't have time to be reminded that I'm getting older. That bitch Time does a fine job of that every 17th of July and besides, I'm planning my next encounter with Patty when the symphony season starts. God I've missed her!

Friday Fives

2005-08-12T09:40:00.000-07:00

1. Do you exercise on a regular basis?

I'm not sure if its "regular", but I try to exercise 3-4 times a week either by lifting weights, running or a combination of the two. I refuse to get that damned "spare tire" as I approach 40.

2. Name one person that raises your blood pressure.

Our Fearless Leader, George W. Bush.

3. You need to go up two floors in a building: do you use the stairs or the elevator?

Stairs. I even do push-ups in the dark room while I'm waiting for the film processor to regurgitate my film. Every little bit helps!

4. Have you ever participated in an "Extreme" sport?

Rock/face climbing is about as extreme as I've gotten.

5. Imagine that you have the opportunity to become a foreign correspondent for a week. Where would you want to report from, and what types of stories would you be interested in doing? (In honor of Peter Jennings.)

I want to start a male escort website and then get a White House Press pass so I can ask George questions. Has that been done yet? I hope not, 'cause that's what I want to do.

Beethoven As Muse

2005-08-11T08:34:00.000-07:00

I was riding the shuttle this morning listening to music on my MP3 player knowing that I wanted to write something in my blog today. But what? The Colfax Soundtrack was a great concept, but in the end, it wasn't my cup of tea..........I'd found myself composing and arranging my playlists to fit the wackiness and grit that is East Colfax, and without spontaneity the whole endeavor lost its allure of the seemingly incongruous juxtaposition of my musical tastes and the Otherworld of Colfax; so I ditched the idea as a running feature. Now then, what to write about? And then it dawned on me. Music of course..........my first love. And not just any music, mind you, but the stuff that stirred me to discover the heights to which music can be taken and even transcend. If you know me, you've already guessed that I'm speaking of what has come to be known as Classical Music---a misleading term at best. "True" classical music is generally music that was written from 1750-1820, a time period which begins with the staggering geniuses of Mozart and Haydn and ends with the emergence of the Romantic Period via the revolutionary Beethoven ( consider Beethoven a cross-over artist ). So if we confine ourselves to true "classical" music, we restrict ourselves by quite some measure, missing out on the brilliance of Sibelius, Tchaikovsky, Borodin, Gorecki and a host of others, not to mention the entire Baroque period which paved the way for the Classical Period. So, when I speak of "classical" music, I am talking about ALL of the great instrumental music written over the past 500 years, including the music written for cinema. But I digress..............

What stirred me this morning to write about this sort of music were two things: first, that I was listening to a piece of music that was over 200 hundred years old and second, the title of my blog. Without even thinking, I had incorporated music into the title, and this coupled with the fact that I was re-discovering a 200 year-old piece of music drove the point home. I should right about what I love.................so here I go.

But first, you may ask: why do you love classical music so much? It's simple really. This is music which transcends race, age, sex, nationality and more importantly, time. Beethoven's music is as relevant and accessible today as it was some 200 years ago because it appeals to our basest emotions: fear, love, hate, sorrrow, happiness. And because it is not limited in meaning by the addition of words, the music can mean many things to many people, further widening its appeal. Its always fascinating to me to discuss a piece of music and discover how each person related or withdrew something different from it. This is why we are still listening to Beethoven today, and while I'll be listening to him at the end of my days, nearly 300 years after he wrote it. But again, I digress.............

It was 1801-02 when Ludwig van Beethoven wrote his 2nd symphony. He was residing in the pastoral setting of Heiligenstadt outside of Vienna, on his doctor's orders, in the throes of a deep depression. Beethoven's impending deafness was getting much worse, so bad in fact that he actually considered committing suicide. In letters found written to his brothers at his death, Beethoven wrote: "How humiliating was it, when someone standing close to me heard a distant flute and I heard nothing, or a shepherd singing and, again, I heard nothing. Such incidents almost drove me to despair." Amid this turmoil and personal anguish, Beethoven composed his second symphony. While Beethoven's 3rd symphony-- subtitled the "Eroica" ( or heroic )-- is truly heroic in scale and in sound, his 2nd is much more heroic on a personal level. Even with a cloud of depression hanging over him and deafness squelching the thing he cherished most, Beethoven managed to compose one of the lightest and most capricious pieces of his life. It was if it had been written by someone who had not a care in the world, rather than by someone so unhappy as he had been at the time. Through this, one can see the dedication Beethoven gave to his art and one must assume that his art is what gave him the strength to live, for it was the one thing that sustained him and gave him happiness.

The second symphony is important for two reasons. Foremost, it is the first symphony written that does away with the stately and predictable minuet as its third movement, supplanting it with the playful and aptly named scherzo. ( Scherzo literally means "joke". ) The scherzo added more verve and energy to the piece and this was to be a hallmark of most symphonies written during the Romantic Period and was to pre-sage the radical overhaul Beethoven would give the traditional symphony when he unleashed his masterpiece, Eroica. Secondly, the symphony is of greater scope that previous symphonies ( although some could argue that Mozart's 40th and 41st symphonies influenced Beethoven in this respect ) with its codas, introductions and expositions being of greater lengths. This too was a portent of things to come as Beethoven would stretch the playing time of his 3rd symphony to almost 45 minutes, a feat unheard of in 19th century Vienna. The symphony was premiered in April of 1803 and Beethoven himself conducted. The critical response was expected: ranging from gushing adulation to the critique of one Leipzig critic who called Beethoven's finale "a repulsive monster, a wounded tail-lashing serpent, dealing wild and furious blows as it stiffens into its death agony,". History, has of course, proven this guy wrong.......which got me to thinking. Are there geniuses amongst us now, composing music that we deem too radical? Surely there are. Hindsight is always 20/20 they say, but I have resolved to be one of those to at least seek out the new music. I may not like it, but I'll at least give it a try. And if I find it objectionable, well, there's always Beethoven and the exalted company he keeps. They'll do just fine..................

Friday Fives

2005-08-05T08:52:00.000-07:00

1. Given the circumstance that you would need to - how would you go about getting rid of the body?

Easy. Remove head and hands and throw into wood chipper; athough that means I'd have to "rent" one which leaves a paper trail...............hmmmm. OK, so I'd still remove the head and hands and dissolve them in some acid. I'd crush up the skull and use it as bone meal for my spring bulbs. The body? Drive up to the mountains and hurl it into some out-of-the-way ravine. Better yet, if I had access to an incinerator, I'd burn it. But how likely is that? Damn, getting rid of a body is hard work..........

2. Have any turn on? (not necessarily sexual) In other words, to answer the question, what do you dig?

Canine teeth on a guy. It makes me absolutely weak in the knees and brings out my most feral instincts. Hey, you asked..........

3. Are you related to anyone famous somewhere in your family tree?

Not that I'm aware. My brother has tracked our family back to the 1500s I think. I was hoping that we had arrived in the New World with some fanfare, but alas, we came over on a boat just like everyone else. How pedestrian.

4. Real world filter: I drove upon a really bad auto accident last night and it got me thinking. What is the grossest thing you have ever seen?

This is an easy one, but first a bit of backstory. It was 1988 and I had just arrived in Wurzburg, Germany for my first tour of duty in the U.S. Army. I was a medical lab technician in a pathology lab which means I analyzed every concieveable body fluid the human body produces. Anyway, I think it was my 2nd week of work when the Lt. Colonel (who was the pathologist) came into the lab, pointed at me and said " Let's go. We got a body in the morgue. " This is the Army way: Trial By Fire. I dropped my work and followed him down into the basement of the old WWII hospital we lived and worked in. The morgue was something straight out of a 1950s horror movie. The walls were composed of crumbling stones, the floor was cracked and old with a rusty drain and there was only one light fixture dangling above the gleaming metal table in the middle of the room. The smell of formalin permeated everything. Against the far wall were the freezers, four as I recall. The Colonel walked over, pulled one of the doors open and yanked out the sliding table. There was no blanket over the body, so it became quickly apparent to me how this poor bastard had gone out as there was a rather large hole where his mouth had been. Oh, and the fact that half of the back of his head was missing sort of helped too. We heaved the body onto the center table and started the gruesome process of performing the autopsy. As I was weighing this guy's liver, I kept thinking that this was wholly unecessary. Wasn't it clear how this guy died? I think even Inspector Clouseau could've nailed this one. But we proceeded on, my gloves now blood-red and various organs strewn about the body cavity. When were done weighing everything, the pathologist declared the cause of death as severe head trauma ( really?) and we stuffed everything back into the body and sewed him up. That was my FIRST autopsy in a line of many to come. What I didn't realize is that almost all of the autopsies I would participate in would involve violent deaths. So, what's the grossest thing I've ever seen? Hold on..........wait for it...............

The Grossest Thing I've Ever Seen was an autopsy of a murder vicitm. But this was no ordinary murder. This guy had been strapped to a chair, doused in gasoline and set ablaze. His entire body from the waist up was charred black and his left arm had fallen off due to the intense heat that had cracked his humerous. It was rather eerie because the lower part of his body was otherwise fine, so all I could imagine was the fear and unfathomable pain this guy must have gone through. I doubt that I will ever see anything quite as disturbing in my life. At least I hope I don't.................

5. What is your favorite cover song and by what group?

I've always liked Echo & The Bunnymen's cover of People Are Strange

Let's go to the movies!................or maybe not.

2005-08-04T10:30:00.000-07:00

I'm tired of Hollywood whining. I'm tired of it trying to create "events". I'm tired of TV commercials and "The Twenty" at the theatre. Most of all, I'm tired of what I call SAMs......or Suck-Ass Movies. While Hollywood runs around lamenting that Revenge of the Sith ONLY made about $103 million its opening weekend, they are clueless as to why their overall profits are down. To be sure, there a few factors here, one of the largest being the proliferation of the home theatre. I freely admit that once I got my 5.1 surround system and widescreen HDTV set up, I found that I went to the movies less, even though I watched more of them through the miracle of Netflix. But that's not the only reason I stopped going to the theatre. The reality is, I actually LIKE going to the movies. ............or at least I used to. Why the change of heart?

I absolutely loathe the fact that we are now inundated with the worst kind of pre-movie drivel: TV commercials. That's one of the reasons I used to GO to the movies!! To escape TV commercialism. If I want TV ads, I'll tune in to network TV at home and enjoy my movie interspersed with the truly tasteless tampon ad ( have you seen the one where the woman plugs a hole in a leaking boat with her trusty absorbent tampon? UGH ) and ubiquitous sexy-car-that-I-can-never-afford commercial. This is perhaps my biggest reason for staying away from the theatre. Recently, I went to see War of the Worlds, and as the TV ads started, an elderly gentleman in front of me shouted rather loudly, " you've got to be fucking kidding me! Start the movie or the previews!" Clearly, he had not been to the cinema in quite some time.

The price of tickets is ridiculous. Even matinees are $7 a person. And let's face it, there's precious little being released that's even worth matinee prices, let alone a full price admission. $9 to watch the latest Hollywood celluloid shitpile scraped from the editing room floor? I don't think so. I'll rent it on Netflix risk-free; that way, when I stop the movie at chapter 2, I'm not out any money. Even worse are the food prices; people often spend more on food than they do just gaining admittance to the theatre.

The utter lack of creativity being peddled to the movie-going public is absolutely astonishing. Think I'm being dramatic? Witness the glut of TV shows that have been translated--badly I may add-- for the big screen: Charlie's Angels I & II, The Beverly Hillbillies, Bewitched, The Dukes of Hazzard, and many more. And there are more on the way! I'm surprised Hollywood hasn't approached Jim Nabors for Gomer Pyle USMC: Iraqi Invasion. Ninety minutes of bad marching and a lot of " well, gawwwwwww-lees". Jesus, take me now. Not content to just pillage the archives of TV, these over-paid studio execs are rummaging through their own archives to re-make films from long ago, or in some cases, not so long ago ( Charlie & the Chocolate Factory ). I have mixed feelings on the remake. I think some are well done and are in some ways justified when a prior film fails to capture the potential that lays buried in the story or that in some other way falls short ( again I use Charlie & the Chocolate Factory as an example of this as I think the recent Tim Burton film far surpasses the 1970s version ). Its also sometimes interesting to see how another director will re-interpret a story; Steven Spielberg's take on War of the Worlds is much different than Byron Haskin's was back in 1953, but we live in a different time and Spielberg made the film relevant again by telling the story within our contemporary, post-9/11 world---- and the movie was good to boot. Most remakes are SAMs though. The 1976 remake of King Kong? Dino de Laurentis should've been shot for producing that film. Here's a group of people who managed to take one of the all-time great American films and butcher it. I, even as a 7 year old, realized that this "re-invented" Kong sucked. I am eagerly awaiting Peter Jackson's film though. I have a feeling this one will rule.

Continuing the lack-of-creativity theme , another phenomenon plaguing Hollywood is the current trend of turning to books for source material. Even the archives of Marvel and DC Comics are not immune to this. While I don't patently object to this, the sheer volume of films being released which are based on books seems to be increasing. Literature has always been a source for movie screenplays, but it has become so pervasive in our culture that when a book becomes a National Best Seller, you can almost guarantee that some movie studio is snatching up the rights to the book(s). To wit: The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Chronicles of Narnia, The DaVinci Code, Ender's Game, seemingly the entire comic book catalog and numerous others. To be fair, The Lord of the Rings and Narnia don't quite count as these movies were, or are being made decades after the release of the novels; and the translation of comic book heroes to the silver screen has as much to do with the comic book industry making money as Hollywood's. But it still drives home the point that creativity is lacking in Hollywood. Make what you want of George Lucas, but he has given us some of the most original and fun movie-making in the last 30 years. His original characters are world-wide icons: Darth Vader, Indiana Jones, Princess Leia, and even the reviled Jar Jar Binks. While rooted in age-old myths and 1930s cliff-hanger serials, his movies still managed to create entire new worlds and bring us something fresh, something sorely lacking in today's Hollywood.

The inevitable sequel. Some sequels are expected, like the Star Wars movies or Indiana Jones movies as they are filmed as episodes in a larger story arc. But do we really need Friday the 13, part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan? Or The Ring Two? When I see these ads, I just roll my eyes. Someone is getting PAID to make these films and even more to the point, some studio exec is getting paid for suggesting the idea. Where do I sign up for that job?

What to make of all this? Well, all these points really distill down to one salient fact: that most movies churned out by Hollywood these days just plain SUCK. This is why their profits are diminishing. Add to that the variables of home theatre, a not-so-pleasant theatre experience and high ticket prices ( not to mention the food prices ) and you get a recipe that further contributes to keeping people away from the theatre. There will always be movies you just "have to see" on the big screen, but these, for me anyway, are becoming fewer and fewer. I venture to guess that I go to the movies about 4-5 times year, but I easily watch upwards of 100 films a year and that's sad, because as I said, I used to enjoy going to the movies, settling into my chair with my popcorn and waiting for the curtain to draw. Remember that? The curtain? Do they even do that anymore?

Friday Fives

2005-07-29T08:51:00.000-07:00

1. What was your first job?

My first paying job was as a soldier in the U.S. Army. Growing up, I lived in the hills of pastoral Pennsylvania and my parents only had one car, so job opportunities were limited to the occasional seasonal farm work. Although I will say that baling hay in the hot summer sun and tossing said hay around a dust-filled, sweltering hot barn for 8 hours was some of the hardest work I've ever done. But strangely, some of the most rewarding as well..................

2. How much did you make?

I think my starting salary in the military was like $800/month. To an 18 year old fresh away from the country, this was a fortune. Now it barely supports my booze bill.

3. Describe your least favorite co-worker of all time.

Wow, this is one is almost too easy. There are exactly two people in my life whom I have hated. Truly hated, as in, if a bus hit this person, I'd pick up their remains with a big snow shovel and heave them into the nearest city drain. Who was the object of this intense hate, you ask? My lab manager at the Nix Hospital in San Antonio, Texas. She was the most unpleasant, unfair, and unkind BITCH I can ever remember running into. Favoritism was the order of the day in her lab. She also took every opportunity to let everyone know that she was in Graduate School and that she was SO above everyone else. On one occasion, she actually berated me for not having a degree, taking another opportunity to remind me that she was in Graduate School. Having had my fill, I replied that it was unfair to compare herself ( a graduate student ) to someone who had yet to get a B.S. It was like comparing apples and oranges, a fact which was somehow lost on this intellectual powerhouse. ( As an aside, I've never believed that degrees are an accurate measure of intelligence anyway. ) I assured her, that when I did go to school, I would run circles around her very average 3.0 GPA ( it was a well known fact about the lab that her Graduate GPA was hovering around a 3.0, and her B.S. GPA was little better ). So, Lily, if you're out there, this is for you: my graduating GPA was a 3.94. I graduated cum laude. Who's smarter now? BITCH

4. What is your dream job?

Simple. A symphony conductor. A very eccentric one. I'd do the classics but I'd mix it up with bombastic arrangements of Nine Inch Nails and Cocteau Twins songs.

5. What do you currently do and do you like it?

I am currently working as a Professional Research Assistant at CU doing cancer research on Phase I drugs. Sounds impressive, no? A good job to be sure, but it was once GREAT. I'm in a bit of a funk lately and am getting the itch to do a 180 in my career. Of course this is fraught with peril as I've been in a lab for 17 years. Dexter has nothing on me!

Friday Fives

2005-07-22T08:53:00.000-07:00

1. Are you more comfortable being the new kid or the experienced one?

I like being the new kid as it increases my thirst for knowledge and provides a challenge. After some time though, I enjoy being the experienced one. I'm a pretty good teacher and I like making others' transitions more palatable. If I had to pick though..................well, I'd go for the New Kid On The Block.

2. When is the last time you were the new kid?

Far too long ago. About 8 years? I'm definitely getting the itch to do a 180 in my life as concerns my career. Maybe its just my impending mid-life crisis. Not sure, but I know change is afoot.............

3. If we met face to face, right now, what would my first impression be of you?

Stuck-up or shy. I'm not the most "approachable" person, but once the ice is broken, I'm a fairly congenial fellow.

4. Who is the last person you said goodbye to?

Joey, as I left J.R.'s last night.

5. Joey, Jordan, Donnie, Danny or Jon?

I don't understand the question. Are these the New Kids' ( continuing the theme from the first question) names? Or are we supposed to pick one?

At any rate, I'd pick Jordan. I've always liked that name. And wasn't he the cute one in NKOB?

Bombs Away!

2005-07-20T09:03:00.000-07:00

Wow. I thought Texas had the corner on "The Most Asinine Things Government Officials Say" market, but I would be wrong. Tom Tancredo, the Colorado Republican from Littleton, recently advocated bombing Muslim holy sites in retaliation for any future nuclear attacks carried out by Islamic terrorists. Great. That's going to do wonders for American-Arab relations: I can see the Muslims embracing all things American now, lining up to eat at McDonald's and storming the Apple store to get an iPod! All hail Western Culture! I can envision Muslim parents teaching their children that Americans are NOT imperialist invaders and infidels. Yeah, right after they rush out and buy their new King James Bible. Destroying Muslim holy sites would only add further fuel to the anti-American fire burning in the Middle East and galvanize even more Muslims against the U.S., Muslims that now may be neutral on the subject. Jesus, how do people like this get elected?? The most frightening aspect of this is that because he is a U.S. Congressman, Muslims around the world will mistake this for U.S. policy, further fanning the flames of an already raging cultural/political/military war. By making this statement, Tancredo is once again reinforcing the stereotype that somehow ALL Muslims are terrorists, which of course they are not. The message he is sending is " if Muslim terrorists attack us, we will indiscriminately retaliate against your people", which sounds much too close to a terrorist act to me. The Land of the Free should not be engaging in this sort of rhetoric; the attack on the World Trade Center was an indiscriminate attack upon innocent people. To suggest that our government would do the same reduces us to nothing more than terrorists against the Muslim world.

While I resoundingly reject Tancredo's remarks, all this talk of labeling all Muslims as terrorists does bring up one of my pet peeves..................

Start Tangent

One aspect of this entire post-9/11 world that does grate on my nerves is the liberals' trepidation of calling it like it is*. Right after 9/11 ( and still to this day to some extent ) the liberals were all up in arms about "racial profiling". They were concerned that in the chaos and heightened security following the 9/11 tragedy, Muslims would be "unfairly" targeted as potential terrorists. Now, on an intellectual level, I totally agreed with this argument, because the actions of a few radical terrorists should not be used to implicate an entire people. However, on a practical level, I totally disagreed with this position as a matter of pragmatism. The hard and cold facts are that Muslims have been responsible for a great deal of the terrorist actions carried out against the U.S. for the better part of my life ( going on 36 years if you're counting ). History has borne this out and it cannot be simply ignored. Let's review:

The Iranian Hostage Crisis of 1979. Muslims? Check.

T he 1983 Bombing of U.S. Marine Barracks. Muslims? Check.

The Downing of Pan Am Flight 103 Over Lockerbie, Scotland. Muslims? Check. Most of the passengers on this flight were American. ( I must say here that there is speculation that the bombing was in retaliation for Reagan's bombing of Libya and/or the downing of an Iranian passenger jet by U.S. forces that same year in 1988. )

The Bombing of the Khobar Towers in Saudi Arabia in 1996. Muslims? Check.

The Bombing of the U.S.S. Cole. Muslims? Check.

9/11. Muslims? Check.

These are but a few of the terrorist activities perpetrated by Muslims over the last 30 years. There are many more and probably some we'll never know about. When a pattern exists such as this, is it unreasonable for law enforcement to target Muslims in particular as possible terrorists? We do it all the time for other types of criminals. Most of us know by now that most serial killers are usually white males in their 20-30s. Does that mean that ALL white males in this age group are serial killers? Of course not, but it would be ludicrous for the police or FBI to ignore this vital information when looking for a potential killer on the loose. Profiling white males as potential serial killers is not done out of hatred or prejudice against them, it is done because history has borne this information out; its just a fact of life, just as the fact exists that most terrorist activity against the U.S. has been carried out by Muslims. I'd bet my next year's salary that if, over the past 30 years, Frenchmen had been conducting terrorist activities against us, we'd be targeting and profiling the French instead of the Muslims.

* I confess to being a free-thinking, dyed-in-the-wool liberal. Question: what DOES "dyed-in -the-wool" actually mean?

Burning the "Broadcast Flag"

2005-07-19T14:25:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't know, back in 2003, the FCC passed a law requiring that all electronics manufacturer's products be DRM-compliant by July 1, 2005.....which was about 18 days ago. Luckily, the FCC was bitch-slapped by the D.C. Circuit Court in May of this year. Had the FCC not been handed its hat, what exactly would all this have meant?

DRM ( Digital Rights Management ) is essentially a small stream of code that "flags" any digital broadcast. Dreamed up by the RIAA and the MPAA as a way to "curb internet distribution", it would essentially curtail our rights as citizens under the Fair Use clause of the Copyright Act (see section VII). Basically, once the flag was in place, only equipment ( radios, TVs, DVRs, PVRs, MP3 players & computers ) with DRM circuitry would be able to accept the broadcast. Not only that, but the DRM would restrict uses we now take for granted. Undoubtedly, recording to another device would've been restricted as well as transfer to another machine. In other words, recording a digital media stream would become impossible or very cumbersome unless you went out and bought a new DRM-capable component. Want to burn a CD of a recorded MP3 stream? Good luck. Want to make a copy of that Family Guy episode you watched Sunday night? Good luck. Think I'm exaggerating? DRM is widely used by Microsoft and I've just recently discovered how irritating it can be. A few posts ago, I enthusiastically gushed about downloading a couple of Jens Lekman's EPs at the MSN music site. They play on my computer just fine, because Musicmatch is obviously DRM compliant. A few days ago, I tried uploading these tracks to my MP3 player. Guess what? No dice. The player won't upload them because its not "DRM-compliant". To this I say, Horseshit! How does restricting the ability to upload music to my MP3 player help curb illegal internet distribution? I went to a LEGAL site to purchase music. I should be able to do anything I want with it except sell it for profit! Needless to say, DRM has turned me away from MSN's site and I will never use it again. The absurdity of the "flag" is just how easy it is to circumvent. All I need do is burn these tracks to a CD as .wav files and then re-rip them as MP3s onto my hard drive. Cumbersome: yes, but not rocket science. Worth it?: Absolutely if it allows me to use my LEGALLY PURCHASED music the way I see fit.

Now imagine if DRM had gone into effect July 1st......for ALL broadcast media. My current DVR would most likely have been rendered obsolete, as well as my $3600 HDTV purchased just 3 years ago. XM and Sirius radios around the nation would most likely have been rendered obsolete. All because the RIAA and MPAA are trying to "stop rampant internet file-sharing". And the fight isn't over: unfortunately, the MPAA is now petitioning Congress to authorize the FCC to mandate the broadcast flag. We can only hope that those in Congress realize that DRM will do nothing to further the cause of the Digital future or, for that matter, Copyright Law.

Friday Fives on Sunday

2005-07-17T14:22:00.000-07:00

1. What four things do you need to do this weekend?

Get to Mexico ( check )
get drunk in Mexico ( check )
get sun-tanned ( check )
Get back home ( check )

2. What were the last three things you purchased?

Necklace for myself and 2 bottles of wine at the Los Cabos Airport.

3. The name of your very first best friend?

Chad Greeley. He was the kid next door when we lived in idyllic Wellsboro, PA. I often wonder what he is doing and where he is even to this day.

4. What does it say in the signature line of your emails?

" It's like someone spilled a beer all over the atmosphere " from a song by Jens Lekman.

5. If you had vanity plates on your car, what would they read? If you already have them, what do they say?

BEAKER

Friday Fives

2005-07-08T10:47:00.000-07:00

1. What is the best thing about the city in which you live? What is the worst?

The best thing about Denver is the weather. We get more sunshine here in the Centennial State than Florida or California. There is next to no humidity which makes the summers quite tolerable and our winters are fairly calm. I grew up in the northeast and I can tell you the snowfall here is a pale comparison to being trapped in your home by 6 ft. snow drifts. What is the worst thing? Um........I guess I'd have to say our infamous Brown Cloud. While not as unsightly ( or as persistent ) as the cloak of pollution that covers Los Angeles, it is rather ugly. The good thing about it is you really can't see it unless you're rather high up in a building, so most times we Denverites are oblivious to it.

2. Describe an idea or invention of yours that you would like to see turned into reality.

This certainly isn't my idea exclusively, as any Trekkie will point out, but the teleporter/transporter would be--I think--the greatest single invention since electricity. Think about the possibilities and ramifications:

mass transport that uses no fuel ( other than sweet, pure fissible hydrogen ) and thus generates no pollution.

the ability to travel would be limitless. Egypt for the weekend? Sure, why not!

the need for roads and all the infrastructure that comes with them would be needless. Think of the open spaces we would reclaim.

Traffic jams, road rage? How quaint!

Of course, one would have to get beyond the reality of your molecules being scrambled and beamed to another locale to be reassembled, "hopefully" in the right sequence. Otherwise, we'd have a world of Brundle-flys, and who wants to live in THAT world?

3. If you could strike one word from the English language, which word would you choose and why?

I cringe even as I type this word: cunt

Hands-down the most vile, loathsome word ever to be ejected from someone's mouth; it is such a biting and crass word. Ruefully, I must confess to having used this word a few times as it certainly does a great job of conveying distaste for someone, but I'd rather it not exist.

4. If the world had a front porch, what would you do on it?

I would sip mojitos as I rocked in my chair. What else do you do on a front porch?

5. Did you think that being an adult would be cool?

Actually, I did. I couldn't wait to crawl out from underneath my parents' 17 year reign and begin commanding my own destiny. It was refreshing and exhilarating to make and spend my own money, to form relationships with new people and make decisions based on MY judgment, or lack thereof. And all things considered, my adult life has turned out pretty damned well.

I have gas.............

2005-06-27T13:36:00.000-07:00

I did something pro-active for my country, my environment and myself the other day. I signed up for Xcel Energy's Windsource program. Essentially, it allows you to purchase wind-generated electricity in 100 kW blocks. The theory is that as more people pay for this clean energy, Xcel can use the revenue to build more wind farms. It costs $2.50 per 100 kW block and for me is well worth it. At least I'm doing something for our environment......unlike our government. I'm doing something to lessen our dependence on dirty energy, even if it is a drop in the proverbial bucket. Which brings me to the current oil dilemma.

It would be easy for me to go on a Bush tirade right now, citing the many ways in which this administration has continued to support the digging of oil wells, failed to enthusiastically embrace solar and wind technologies and labeled global warming as some sort of "funny science". But realistically, this President is only a bit worse than prior ones. The sad fact is, that since the first oil crisis in 1973, this country has done little to lessen its reliance on foreign oil. In fact, we use more now than ever. And with increased consumption coming from places like China and India, oil prices are going to continue to increase and more and more of your hard-earned dollar will go towards just getting around. Suffice it to say then, that I was shocked and dismayed ( and secretly in awe ) at this article detailing how a second world nation with a very precarious economy has done what we should have. Almost 30 years after the 1973 oil embargo, Brazil is expected to be energy self-sufficient in a mere 2-3 years. Astounding.

Colfax Soundtrack

2005-06-16T11:21:00.000-07:00

For those of you in the know, I now work in Aurora........that soul-sucking, cultural vacuum that lies east of Denver. Gone are my 2 minute walks to work; I must now catch a shuttle and take the 20 minute ride down East Colfax to the New and Improved Health Sciences Center. I cannot read in a moving vehicle. Any attempt to do so results in almost instantaneous vertigo and a queasy stomach, which means I have to entertain myself in other ways. I know, I know. You're saying to yourself: " but a ride down East Colfax every morning HAS to be entertaining in and of itself ". It is, but as with anything routine, it eventually loses its cache and becomes something less than it should. Enter technology. Since reading is not an option, I've taken to loading up my MP3 player ( not an iPod, I was an early adopter thank you very much ) with eclectic playlists and submerging myself in my own stereophonic euphoria. I change the playlist daily, much as Colfax itself mutates daily into its newest incarnation and as a result I have produced some very unusual Colfax "soundtracks". As an example, here's how my music selections and Colfax mashed-up this morning:

Track 1: 3rd movement of Mendelssohn's Octet in E.
Observation: The flightiness and lightness of this piece just seemed to blend with all the morning activity going on: people running to get the bus, the cars streaming down the street, the hustle and bustle of pedestrians. The music embodies "movement" as the central theme is tossed about from instrument to instrument, much like the whores are tossed from motel to motel!

Track 2: Kelly Clarkson, Since You've Been Gone
Observation: The lonely drunk standing outside the corner liquor store, wondering when in the HELL the store will open.

Track 3: Marilyn Manson, Personal Jesus
Observation: Driving by the wacky warehouse-style church about mid-way in my trip. I can't remember the name of it, but they always have a brightly-colored bus parked near the back. I can only imagine the sort of trips that congregation takes. Maybe they do a whore rescue? Reach out and touch faith!!

Track 4: Pet Shop Boys, Always on my Mind
Observation: Well, this song is just so insanely happy that it really has no place being played along East Colfax. In fact, if anything, it intensifies the emptiness and despair that is this infamous stretch of road. Although I did think it a great musical theme for all the pimps along the 'fax.

Track 5: Scorpions, Rock You Like a Hurricane
Observation: I have one word. Mullet. Enough said.

Track 6: The Smiths, How Soon Is Now?
Observation: Wow, this one is SO appropriate. In fact, anything by Morrissey makes a great soundtrack to this street. I feel as if the folks in our shuttle should be tossing razor blades out the windows to anyone who wants to end their miserable existence.............

Track 7: VNV Nation, Saviour (vox)
Observation: The aggressive undertones match perfectly with the seediness of this road, the driving 2-4 beat standing in for the pulse of Colfax. And the lyrics? Appropriately despondent:

Burn your thoughts, erase your will
to Gods of suffering and tears.

Track 8: Frida, There's Something Going On
Observation: Well, it IS Colfax, right? Blowjobs, drug deals, arrests and the opening of yet another pawn shop? Oh yeah, it's ALL going on.

I plan an making this into a weekly thing. Not sure I like the format yet, so I'll be work-shopping it. Make your own soundtrack to life. Later.

Note: all links to music require Windows Media Player

Friday Fives

2005-06-10T09:29:00.000-07:00

1. How old were you when you got your driver's license? Learned to drive a stick shift?

I was 15. I took my test in my grandma's big-ass station wagon..............twice. The first time I took my test, I was so nervous that I had the accelerator pedal pressed all the way to the floor so that when I started the car, this huge billow of exhaust exploded from the tailpipe, to which my grandfather exclaimed, " well, that sure cleared out the carburetor! " I also failed my first test because I barely touched the curb when doing my parallel parking test. So, the grandparents hauled me to the next little town to take the test again. We made it in time for the test, and who should be my driving tester? None other than the same crotchety old man who had just failed me less than 2 hours ago. Apparently, rural Pennsylvania had a shortage of driving testers..........
Needless to say, I passed. I learned to drive a stick shift when I purchased my first car: a used 1985 Corolla GT.

2. Who taught you how to drive?

Kind of a combination between my dad and grandparents.

3. Cars: first, current and pie-in-the-sky future?

My first car was a used 1985 Corolla GT. My current car is a 1996 Tercel and my dream car would be something along the lines of a BMW Z8. I've loved BMWs since I was 8...........

4. Napster/Kazaa/Filesharing: A crime or the Best Thing Ever?

This is kind of a weird tack going from cars to file sharing..............

At any rate, I think file sharing is the best thing to happen since man learned how to record sound as its the ultimate democratic way of getting music to the ears of the masses, where it belongs. Every artist now has the means to disseminate their art. That being said, I do believe that the whole copyright infringement issue has some merit. SOME. No one can truly make me believe that bands like Green Day, U2 or REM are hemorrhaging money due to illegal file sharing. File sharing hurts the struggling artist most. Yes, technically, people should be paying for these bands' music, and the fact is, most people do. "Illegal copying" has been going on since the days of the tape recorder and mix tapes. What makes digital music so different? Its easier to disseminate for sure and its an exact copy, but that shouldn't preclude my rights under the "Fair Use" clause of the copyright law which allows me to make a copy of copyrighted material for personal use. As long as I'm not making monetary gains from my copy, I'm within my rights. And this idea that the dissemination of digital music is responsible for reduced music sales is just bullshit. I have found many artists in the seemingly endless well that is the internet and yes, I have downloaded many files for free as a sort of "test drive". But more often than not, I have then purchased the artists' CD ( or CDs if they have been around for awhile ). This is the beauty of digital media: that I can find music I otherwise would not have been exposed to and with the click of a mouse, have it downloaded to my hard drive and then decide whether I want to purchase it. This is music in its most democratic form, where I can pick and choose what I want and when I want it. This is also the beauty which the music industry should've have keyed into: that mass dissemination of music will put more music in the hands of more people which will fuel more sales. But--alas--the music industry has been running around like Chicken Little, declaring that "the sky is falling" just as they have every time a new technology has come along. They were convinced that the tape recorder/cassette would be the death knell to the industry as no one would buy music anymore, they'd just record it from their friends. While this certainly happened to some degree ( who hasn't made a mix tape? ), the industry's profits actually increased, just as they did when CDs were introduced. So, the idea that filesharing is somehow responsible for the woes of the music industry just doesn't sit well with me.

The crux of the problem is that the music industry missed the boat. Instead of embracing the future of the wildly popular MP3 format, they chose to cling to an old, untenable business model and are now crying foul for their own near-sightedness. I truly believe that many of the reasons concerning the popularity of filesharing were ( and are ) rooted in the frustrations of we, the consumers. To wit:

Paying $12-17 for a CD only to find that a few tracks are worth anything. This is frustrating. Who wouldn't want to hand pick their music selections rather than have them foisted upon us daily by radio, the Industry and TV? Had the music industry had a mechanism in place for this sort of democratic choice, I believe filesharing might not have become so rampant. Witness the success of Apple's iTunes. People have gone mad for it. Microsoft has even entered the fray at their MSN Music site. I downloaded 2 EPs the other day for $3.49 apiece and a few songs for $0.99. It was quick, painless and legal. Only now is the industry waking up to this reality.

The price of music. We pay too much. Period. Why am I still paying $12-$17 for an Elvis Presley CD? Or an old recording of a classical piece? Or 20s swing music? These artists are long gone and royalties have been paid. Even if royalties are still due, we are all well aware of the cost of making a CD. It costs pennies. There are no marketing costs associated with these CDs, so why are their prices on par or in excess of those slapped onto new releases?? Where is the logic, I ask?? This is what I believe gave most people the "moral go-ahead" to begin downloading music for free. After being shafted by the music industry for decades, digital filesharing allowed the public to give the industry the collective Finger and say " we're not gonna take it anymore!"

Digital music and filesharing have revolutionized the way we listen to music, the way we will purchase music and the way we will find music. If it takes millions of "crimes" to shake the industry from the shackles of its old ways, then so be it. The short answer is: I HEART FILESHARING!

5. You've just inherited $35 million dollars. Show me how you'd spend it.

Wow. First, I'd change into some un-soiled underwear. Then I'd get a good accountant. Then I'd spend the money something like this:

Pay off all my debt, including the house.
Buy that Z8.
Call my brother, ask him how much debt he has. Erase said debt and then hand him a couple of million.
Set up trust funds for my nephews.
Pay all my friends' debt off. Give them each $10,000 or more, depending on tax laws.
Have a home custom built with accessory bumper car rink. My cars would have drink holders in them for all the drunken derbies we'd have.
Enjoy

Eureka!!

2005-06-08T11:18:00.000-07:00

Very rarely do I stumble across an artist not from the 18th century that sends me into a buying frenzy, but I've found just that. I'm in love with a Scandinavian lad named Jens Lekman (first name pronounced YENS). This kid has one of the purest, slightly baritone voices I've heard in years, coupled with great songwriting that puts him in league with the likes of Rufus Wainwright and Morrissey. His voice has an ethereal quality and timbre that goes right to your heart ( or at least this Vulcan's anyway ). I stumbled across this kid on Accuradio's newest station, The Listening Post, when I heard the song Tram #7 To Heaven. A quick Google search directed me to a site which allowed me to download the downright catchy tune, Black Cab, from Jens' first EP, Maple Leaves. I have since downloaded his first two EPs from MSN's new music service ( very cool by the way ) and have his new album, When I Said I Wanted To Be Your Dog, coming from Amazon. I'm now regretting using the free shipping as it will be an entire week before I get more of this young man's dreamy vocals in my hot little hands. Its finds like this that reassure me that ALL of the good music hasn't been written yet....................

Friday Fives

2005-06-03T09:30:00.000-07:00

1. If you could be famous for 15 minutes, what would the headline read?

Symphony attendee takes podium after collapse of Maestro. Leads orchestra in dazzling performance of Beethoven's "Eroica".

2. Do you think fame would change you?

Fundamentally as a person, I don't think it would. Superficially it would, out of necessity. I'm sure being famous brings all sorts of cretins out of the woodwork who want to be your friend or "help" you in some way and you'd need to be very selective ( i.e. a snob ) as a defense mechanism. I'd be very wary of new friends. Thank God I have a great group now who like me as I am. I could count on them were fame to strike.

3. Has your name ever appeared in the newspaper? ..what for?

My name was in the paper for winning a prize in a state-wide art competition. I think I was 15? Obviously, celebrity has been hounding me..............

4. Would you like to be famous for *more* than 15 minutes?

Sure, but it depends on what for. Finding the Cure for Cancer? Sure, that'd be great! Being known as The Guy Who Single-Handedly Ran America Into The Ground? Not so much. Thankfully, that infamous post is already taken.

5. If you could perform one act of Good while you were famous, what would it be?

Legalize marijuana. This country spends an insane amount of money trying to stop the use of this fairly harmless drug. Booze is way more destructive. How many times do you read about someone getting stoned and going out to shoot someone? Almost never. Yet alcohol-related shootings are fairly commonplace and we have liquor stores on every 4th street corner. Go figure........

The Gay "Switch"

2005-06-03T08:38:00.000-07:00

Perusing the New York Times this morning, I happened upon this article. Seems scientists have shown fairly conclusively that by switching a "master sexual gene" in fruit flies, they can make females pursue other females and males pursue other males. As an aside, I loved the description of the heterosexual mating ritual of the fruit fly: ....It pursued a waiting virgin female. It gently tapped the girl with its leg, played her a song (using wings as instruments) and, only then, dared to lick her - all part of standard fruit fly seduction.

So, I'm assuming that the genetically-engineered mating ritual goes something like this:

.....he approached the hot man-fly leaning against the test tube wall, rubbed his leg bristles against his, bought him a stiff drink and then dared him to join the orgy over in the agar pool.

But I digress..........

Seriously though, this is some very ground-breaking research. To demonstrate that ONE gene is responsible for sexual orientation in fruit flies certainly moves forward the assertion that said orientation is Nature and not Nurture. While no one is making the leap to humans and saying that there exists a correlate gene in us, the fact that this "sex switch" exists in another animal certainly suggests that there could be one for humans as well. This could help to move the debate about sexual orientation from the realm of morality/religion and into the proper one of science. I feel excited about this discovery, but also a bit apprehensive. Excited because I think it could--some day--validate what we queers have been saying all along. We didn't choose to be this way, its just the way we were hard-wired! On the other hand, I am a bit concerned that, if and when a "sex switch" gene is found in humans, this information could be abused and exploited. What if fetuses could be screened for this gene? What if they had a sex gene which didn't match their anatomy? Should these fetuses be aborted? This moral conundrum is particularly interesting when viewed within the framework of Christian ideology. Do you let the moral "abomination" live and allow it to infect the world with sin, or do you kill the fetus, destroying one of God's creations? And how do you reconcile the Christian view of homosexuality as an abomination to God with the fact that God seemed to allow the gene "mix-up" in the first place? These are very profound questions and ones which we will face in the future I am sure. And not only concerning sex. This brings up the whole specter of genetic profiling and weeding out "inferior" human models. In essence, tampering with evolution. It is not too far a stretch to say that we would be masters of our own race should these discoveries and the technologies needed to manipulate them become commonplace. For now, I'm content just being a random mash-up of genes. Maybe I should start stock-piling my "seed". We wouldn't the gays to go extinct would we?

Jurassic Park Meets Bible School

2005-05-23T12:24:00.000-07:00

This has road trip written all over it. I'd have to go and see it just to believe it! Seems Creationists aren't content with infecting our schools and politics with their pseudo-science; they've now started erecting their own world-class museums. Yes- you read that right. A museum in Arkansas ( no surprise there, where the local mouth-breathers call T. rex " that big gator in that there fancy moving picture" ) displays exhibits such as a Tyrannosaurus rex being watched from the bushes not by a wary prey, but by Adam and Eve. Another shows juvenile dinosaurs on the Ark.....apparently Noah had the presence of mind to realize that a fully-grown Brontosaurus might well sink his little boat. One poster in the Creationist Playhouse--oh, I'm sorry-- museum, shows juvenile sauropods next to modern-day tigers and lions. WTF? If this wasn't being taken seriously, it would be a hoot, but the fact that people are thronging to this schlock is frightening. What's even more embarrassing is that this article was carried in the UK's Guardian. The Brits must be laughing their collective asses off and re-evaluating whether their persecution of the Puritans wasn't justified. C'mon kids! Time to take a roadtrip to JesusLand!!!!!

Attack the Clones, We Must

2005-05-20T09:45:00.000-07:00

Seems South Korea has raised the hackles of Our Fearless Leade r by reporting that their scientists have cloned human embryos, extracted their stem cells and used them for research. In Bush's eyes of course, this is murder and rails against his "culture of life". As a side, a bill which relaxes the ban on using stem cells in research ( co-introduced by our own Diane Degette ) is being sent to Bush. Bush is sure to veto this bill. Says Bush: ''I made very clear to Congress that the use of federal money, taxpayer's money, to promote science which destroys life in order to save life -- I'm against that.........Therefore, if the bill does that, I would veto it.'' A couple of observations:

Bush can deny U.S. scientists access to stem cells for what could be truly ground-breaking research, but he holds no sway over the rest of the world. Science will march on, in spite of this country's devolution into government-sanctioned, pseudo-science. The potential benefits to mankind far outstrip the still-contested notion that an embryo is Life, and this will drive man to understand the complexities of these cells.

I work with human cells every day. Cancer cells, mononuclear cells and a myriad of others. All of these are direct descendents from stem cells which are in turn a product of the union of a sperm and egg. I don't for a minute question the ethics of what I am doing. A blastocyst ( a mass of early-developed cells ) is not a sentient being. It does not feel. Is it life? In a strict, pragmatic view it is. It meets the criteria of being able to reproduce, to take in nutrients, to move towards heat or some other stimulus and to grow. Yet I feel no compunction about destroying these cells because they are not sentient. I DO feel bad when I yank the tail of a mouse hard enough to dislocate its neck and kill it. The mouse is self aware and thus frightened. And yet we do it every day. Certain compromises have to be made for the greater good. So we experiment on sentient animals: dogs, rabbits, monkeys and mice to name a few. People enroll themselves onto clinical trials, hoping the risks will be outweighed by a slim chance of a benefit. In the grand scheme of things, harvesting stem cells seems fairly innocuous. No one gets hurt and "life" is not destroyed because to lose something, you must first SENSE it.

Stem cells are not harvested from living donors. These masses of cells are created in the test tube ( in vitro ), not yanked from a healthy uterus. The sperm and eggs are typically donated for the sole purpose of research. Clearly then, these people have no ethical issues donating their gametic cells for research. By withholding monies from these research programs, the Bush administration is shoving its religious values down Americans' collective throats, irrespective of its citizens religious beliefs.

Here's a thought. Why not let the amoral scientists do their jobs? Let them work with stem cells and find fantastic new cures and remedies for a panoply of ailments. Let people decide on whether they want to take advantage of those remedies knowing full well that those cures come from stem cell research...... from destroying life. I'd bet my life that a great many Christians would suddenly abandon their conceptions of what life is for that cure to the cancer growing in their body, or for that cure to their Parkinson's. That's just my guess though.........they might shun those cures, but I doubt it.

Friday Fives

2005-05-20T08:20:00.000-07:00

1. You can invite 2 artists to your house, but they must sing together. Who are they and what one song will they sing?

Bette Midler and Henry Rollins. They'd sing " Wind Beneath My Black Flag ".

2. Are you on "the light side" or "the dark side"?

Dark Side material. Definitely. While the Jedi mean well and are needed throughout the galaxy, I'd much prefer being a Sith. They get to blow things up, have wicked cool powers and cause mayhem throughout the galaxy. I'm so up for that. And did I mention the get-ups? Who doesn't want to wear a big, black flowing cape and bark orders at inept underlings? Oh, and I almost forgot the biggest advantage of signing on with Vader and Co. Removing incompetent underlings/people with the flick of a wrist. That's a power I wish for on a daily basis.

3. If you could completely start your life over from scratch, what would you do differently the second time around (if anything)?

I think I would've "played the field" more after coming out of the closet. I got into a 5 year relationship about 3 days after I came out. While it wasn't all bad, I think I would've had much more fun being free and loose.

4. Do you have any purple clothes in your closet? If so, what items are they? Do you enjoy wearing the color purple?

I own this great dark purple shirt from the Banana. I do like wearing purple, but only in dark tones. Light purple is soooooooooooo gay.

5. What do you picture when you think of garbagemen?

The clanking of beer bottles, wine bottles, more beer bottles, more wine bottles, liquor bottles and the occasional tin can and milk jug being dumped into the garbageman's very loud truck at 7am.

"Star Wars" Strikes Back

2005-05-19T09:14:00.000-07:00

You knew I was going to do it. A midnight screening of the last Star Wars movie, attend, I did. I went to this movie full of apprehensions. Would Lucas finally deliver? Were all the positive reviews justified? Would Revenge of the Sith be Lucas' crowning achievement, a fitting swan song to his massive 28 year film cycle? Yes, yes and yes. This last of the prequels chronicling the descent of Anakin Skywalker and linking the movies into one massive saga delivers the goods......and with a wallop. It is relentlessly foreboding, right down to the ominous yet muted score. There is no annoying Jar Jar, no comical one-liners from C-3PO, and no cute furry creatures for the kiddies. Death is everywhere. This is Star Wars all grown up. Anakin's descent into darkness is genuinely heart-breaking, which is all the more surprising since we know his destiny. Without giving up any details, I can say that the transformation of Darth Vader from man into machine will endure as one of the most iconic images from the entire series. It is fittingly grotesque and surprisingly heart-wrenching all at once. And shockingly, Darth Vader himself becomes a much more sympathetic character. As he arises from the operating table, taking his first steps, Emperor Palpatine is there to instill rage and guilt in his apprentice, to further manipulate him and feed the Dark Side, to help forge Vader into the monster he will become. It is truly sad.

That being said, the film also dovetails nicely into the original trilogy. Many loose ends are tied up and while there are a "few" inconsistencies, only people steeped in the lore of Star Wars will likely notice. All in all, this was a great Star Wars film. I'd rate it very close to The Empire Strikes Back in terms of sheer drama and good acting. Thanks George, for letting a 35 year old enjoy your universe again....................

Friday Fives

2005-05-13T09:13:00.000-07:00

1. How often do you cook at home?

At least once a week, although Robert is more the cook than I. I do love grillin'. Less clean up and you get to be outside drinking a beer. Something about BBQ and beer that just "fits".

2. How did you learn how to cook?

A myriad of sources. All of my grandparents cooked fairly well. I was always fascinated by their style as well. " A little of this and a little of that " and----BAM!!----instant culinary bliss. I also enjoy going to the book store and purchasing cookbooks and just running with them. All in all, I'd say I'm mostly self-taught.

3. What is a meal that has special meaning to you?

Well, duh. Thanksgiving! Gathering together with all your loved ones and gorging yourself on food and drink like invading Mongols..........well, what's not to like?

4. What is the last meal you cooked?

A Thai green curry dish. We've been doing alot of Thai dishes lately.

5. What is your least favorite thing to cook?

Children? They're hell to get into the oven and clean-up afterwards is just a bitch.

Deliver Us From Evil............er Texas

2005-05-12T11:36:00.000-07:00

Looks like the Lone Star State is at it again, showing the world that it is a leader in Family Values. The Texas Legislature is debating a bill that will effectively ban gays and lesbians from adopting children or even fostering them. It is, of course, in typical Republican-speak, called the "Defense of Families Act". But here's the real kicker. Gays or lesbians who ALREADY have kids in their homes will have those children summarily removed if this law is passed. This is "Family Values"?? Removing perfectly happy kids from homes and parent-figures that may represent the best homelife they've ever had just because politicians think these kids will catch "gay"? This just screams insanity to me. If letting gays adopt and foster kids was so "unholy" and wrong, why did the legislature EVER let it happen. And lest you think that there isn't a religious undercurrent to this bill, read this little ditty from a gal who wrote in to Dan Savage's column this week:

I work in an office at the Texas House of Representatives. Last week, the house passed an amendment to the Child Protective Services bill saying not only that gay people can't be foster parents, but also that if you already are a foster parent and are discovered to be gay, your children will be taken away from you. This week, they passed a bill to amend the Texas Constitution to invalidate any legal agreement similar to marriage for same-sex couples.

Every day, the Texas house opens its session with a prayer. Representatives bring in pastors from their districts. The prayers usually sound something like, "God knows what he wants you to do today... let God guide you in your important decisions..." I was wondering, if you were to write a prayer invoking the name of God before the Texas House of Representatives, what would you say?

Mind you, this gal works for the Texas legislature, so her story can be expected to carry some weight. This is outrageous. The only outcome for the kids affected by this law will be even more trauma and resultant wariness towards adults. What else could one expect? These kids have been shuffled through the system for years and then, upon finding a good family who happen to be gay, are yanked from that stability and thrown back into the bureaucratic morass that is The State. How can anyone conceive of this bill as "family friendly"? This is all the more appalling in that recent scientific studies are pretty much up in the air concerning rearing a child in a same-sex household versus raising one in a more "traditional" home. Which begs the question: what exactly IS "traditional" these days? A one-parent family? Being raised by grandma while mom or dad or both work two jobs? A same-sex family? Having a crack-whore mom? Being raised by siblings? The reality is that all of these scenarios are extant, especially the one-parent family. How is being raised by one parent any better than being raised by two men or two women? In my estimation, the only requirement to being a good parent is being a good provider and giving a child love. Who cares who's giving it? Apparently, Texas politicians do.

Christians love God
God Hates Gays
Therefore, Christians must hate Gays.

Here's my version:

Bible-thumping, right wing assholes just hate.
That's it.

Friday Fives

2005-05-06T10:10:00.000-07:00

1. Do you prefer to be the driver or passenger?

This all depends on who's driving. With most folks, I have no problem relinquishing control. I'm not a control freak when it comes to driving, although I do it any chance I get. I'm definitely one of those Americans who loves his car..........even if it is a 4 cylinder Toyota Tercel.

2. When you drive somewhere, do you prefer to take the long way or quickest route?

Being blonde AND having no innate sense of direction, I usually end up taking the "scenic route". This infuriates others to no end, but unless I'm in a rush, it doesn't bother me. I'll get there eventually. I HATE the feeling of being lost alone. If I'm gonna get lost, I want someone to bitch to about it. So, if I'm going to a new place and am on a schedule, I like to have someone else with me---someone who hopefully knows where we're going. This doesn't always work though as my partner is sometimes as clueless as myself. To wit: Eddie and I driving madly about downtown searching for parking, both trying to be calm about the fact that we have exactly 10 minutes to park, walk and seat ourselves at Boettcher to hear Patty the Triangle Player's most recent cavalcade of sound. The anxiety level inside that little TT was more palpable than John Merrick's tumors. Now we just leave earlier...........

3. Do you have road rage?

Admittedly, yes. People just do the stupidest things on the road. I know screaming and cursing does nothing but get my heart going, but goddamn it feels good. In my world, everyone's license plate would be their car phone number. So, Bad Woman Asian Driver ( sorry, its true ) who cuts me off without signaling gets a phone call from me asking her if she's familiar with Ancient Chinese Secret called USE YOUR FUCKING SIGNAL!!! Road rage? Me?? Nah................

4. What is the longest road trip you have taken?

Hmm. Out little 4-cylinder, hamster-driven Tercel has been driven from San Antonio to South Carolina and from Denver to Seattle, which makes her a trans-American vehicle. I think those are about equal distances. All I know is that those are some LONG trips.

5. What would your reaction be if you were driving and saw an animal run into the road?

That's easy. If I can safely swerve out of the way, I'll do it. If I think for even a second that I can't, Bambi or Thumper just got a plot in the nearest pet cemetery. My life is worth WAY more than some animal's.

Friday Fives

2005-04-29T08:54:00.000-07:00

1. If you owned a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve?

Very pretentiously presented food. It's just so pretty! I really have no idea as the thought of owning a restaurant has never crossed my mind.

2. If you owned a small store, what kind of merchandise would you sell?

Collectibles. Most likely Star Wars paraphernalia. Although my store would be way cool as it would be constructed to resemble the Death Star's interior, with those huge oval wall panel lights. It would be lit with a cool electric blue ambiance, have glossy black floors and all the merchandise would be in clear Plexiglas cases. Six huge video monitors would display each of the movies on a continuous loop. But my greatest gimmick would be the life-size Jar Jar Binks doll near the back of the room where my customers could take out their daily frustrations by hurling darts, bricks or whatever they wanted at the series' most reviled character. "Weesa gonna die?" You betcha............

3. If you wrote a book, what genre would it be?

No idea. Probably a semi-autobiographical piece. They say everyone has one good book in them.

4. If you ran a school, what would you teach?

If I RAN a school, I wouldn't teach. Now, if I was just a teacher, I think I'd teach either history or music.

5. If you recorded an album, what kind of music would be on it?

Very dark, atmospheric music or something bombastic ( think Wagner or Holst ). It would definitely be in a minor key. The minor key is highly underrated.

2005-04-28T17:48:00.000-07:00

Fiesta 2005..........Attack of the Drag Queens

Friday Fives

2005-04-15T09:23:00.000-07:00

1. What is your worst/baddest/weirdest roommate story?

Hmmmm. All of my "roomates" have been lovers, which can make for some high drama. So I guess my worst story would be the time my ex-lover Jay and I decided to duke it out. Mind you, this was in the military. We had split up for several months but he had coaxed me to our old room ( I had since moved out ) to "talk things out". Which meant he was pleading with me to come back to him. Which I didn't want to do. So, I tried to leave the room. Round One commenced. Jay began by strategically throwing a huge mirror across the door, effectively blocking an easy escape. Screaming commenced, as did the fisticuffs. Now, mind you, I was in my military medical whites. I had come over to his room during my lunch break. I would rue that decision. So anyway, the fists started flying and the verbal abuse escalated to epic proportions. Seeing that I couldn't get out through the door, I headed for the window. Our old room was on the third level of the barracks wing of the WWII hospital where I worked. Outside the window was a narrow balcony that stretched the length of the building, essentially giving me access to any number of other rooms on the floor. Round Two commenced--trying to get to the window. At this point, things got VERY ugly. Jay was determined to stop me and began grabbing my uniform to prevent me from exiting the window to the balcony. At this point, my uniform was already torn and one of my rank insignias had been ripped off. This is the same uniform I would have to wear when I reported back to work in less than 30 minutes. I basically just lost it and grabbed Jay's head......and began beating it against one of those old-fashioned metal radiators. You know, the kind with the spine-like metal ridges? My uniform now became a bloody mess. More screaming ensued, but I did make it out onto the balcony. At this point I began running down the narrow walkway, banging on windows, desperately trying to get someone's attention. Eventually, I did get into someone's room. I ignored the barrage of questions and hi-tailed it back to my room where--thankfully--I had a clean set of whites to change into. I changed and reported back to work just in time. Needless to say, I missed lunch.

2. How much is too much for a haircut? And how much is too little?

My other half is a hairstylist, and a damned good one. I pay nothing for my haircuts, except in "services rendered". If I had to pay though, I would pay up to $40. A good haircut is essential.

3. When opening a bag of chips are you careful and precise or do you tear right into it. Are there any left to store for later?

This is going to reveal one of my biggest pet peeves. EVERYTHING is so hard to open these days!! I feel like a 90 lb. weakling trying to open chips. Do they atomically seal those damned bags shut? In answer to the question, I usually end up cutting the bag open, because if I pull with the force required to open these damned things, there would be an explosion of chips everywhere. And even with my liberal "10 second rule" most of those chips would be wasted. But back to my tirade. I recently purchased some CDs and I had to remove no less than FIVE different pieces of sealing wrap to get into the damned things. Does the RIAA think I'm gonna rip tracks from CDs onto my portable CD-RW drive right in the middle of the store? I'm all for security, but the shrinkwrap they put around those things is enough of a deterrent. It makes enough noise when removing it to call down a SWAT team from down the street.

4. Ever take musical instrument lessons as a kid? What did you play? Still remember how? Should we get the band back together, man?

I took saxophone lessons from the 3-12th grades. I was pretty good too. I played in marching band, concert band and the swing band ( my favorite ). I haven't picked up an alto sax since I was 17, but I think I could remember how to play. I would get into a band if it was the right group of people and style of music.

5. What is your most memorable drunken experience?

Wow, there are SO many. The one that sticks in my mind though is New Year's Eve 1989. My brother Matt had come over to visit me in Deutschland with Grandma in tow ( really the other way around, but the hell with semantics ). Grandma was a "touch" religious, which meant that her idea of a New Year's party was sitting around drinking Mogen David. Needless to say, my brother and I had alternate plans. So we ditched Grandma, leaving her alone in her room ( this is when I earned my first frequent flier miles on the Express Jet to Hell ) and proceeded to taxi over to a huge party. The place was being rented by a friend of mine named Karen who was leasing the place from a German lady whose name HAD to be Bertha, Helga or some such unappealing moniker. So anyway, there were about 40 people at this party, all getting loaded. As the clock approached midnight, everyone--and I mean everyone----grabbed a bottle of champagne and proceeded to shake them. When the clock struck midnight, the sound of popping corks permeated the apartment. Followed by the sound of gushing champagne: down the walls, from the ceiling, over the stereo system, into our mouths and everywhere else. At this point, the Germans outside on the streets began setting off fireworks. The following details are sketchy. I don't know if it was one of our revelers or one from the outside, but someone tossed a smoke grenade into the building where my friend lived. Smoke began roiling up the stairs. Someone from our group did try to go down the stairs to open the door so the smoke would dissipate faster. Oopsy! He ended up falling down the stairs and rolling through the screen door, knocking it from its hinges. At this point, Helga ( or Bertha ) stomped out from her first level abode and began screaming in German. I was too drunk to understand what she was saying, but I did recognize the word "polizei". I immediately grabbed my brother and a few friends and we started running. I figure we ran a good mile to the nearest military barracks and then cabbed it home. Running that far when that drunk is NOT recommended.

My Aliases

2005-04-14T14:12:00.000-07:00

Mark Christopher Morrow's Aliases

Your movie star name: Chocolate Ernie

Your fashion designer name is Mark Wurzburg

Your socialite name is M&M London

Your fly girl / guy name is M Mor

Your detective name is Dog Athens Area High

Your barfly name is Chocolate Gin And Tonic

Your soap opera name is Christopher Grant

Your rock star name is M&Ms Cheetah

Your star wars name is Marflu Morian

Your punk rock band name is The Anxious Used Condom

The Amazing Meganame Generator

The Indecency Police Are Coming

2005-04-14T12:02:00.000-07:00

With the Culture War now in high gear, bolstered in part by Bush's supposed "mandate" given to him at the the last election, the Congress is considering stripping the FCC of its authority to regulate our airwaves. Who would be the new indecency watchdog? Why, Congress of course! While many of the proposed changes are alarming, the one that bothers me the most is Congress' desire to begin fining the cable television networks. Holy HBO Batman! Until now, the cable networks have been exempt from the FCCs stance on indecency because they are subscription networks; that is, they are supported by people paying for the privelege of viewing un-censored, adult, thought-provoking and well-written television. That could all change. If Congress gets its way, say good bye to The Sopranos, Six Feet Under, Deadwood and The Wire. At $500,000 per violation ( the new amount Congress wants to fine broadcasters PER violation ) HBO will be eviscerated. One episode of The Sopranos or one overtly gay-centric episode of Six Feet Under could bankrupt HBO overnight.

Ever since Janet had her wardrobe malfunction, this country has been censoring more and more of everything. In light of this, I find it highly disturbing that by age 18 an American child will have seen 16,000 simulated murders and 200,000 acts of violence. But this is somehow less damaging than seeing a breast? Give. Me. A. Fucking. Break. I am so sick of this country's puritanical, holier-than-thou roots rearing its head all in the name of decency. What's decent about seeing someone shot, or raped, or beaten, or eviscerated, or burned? What's decent about displaying dead corpses ( or almost dead ones-- Sorry Terri! ) on TV every week ? Not much. We already have disclaimers on shows stating that "the following content may not be suitable for children". We already have government-mandated V-chips in our TVs. We already have a TV broadcast rating system similar to the one used by the MPAA for motion pictures. We already have certain shows that are required to broadcast after prime time ( think South Park ). I think our Congress and the FCC have mandated enough. Responsibility lies at home folks, not with our government, who by the way, are in NO position to dictate morals and decency to me or you ( take that Tom Delay ). If you don't want Bobby or Suzy seeing naked people, then V chip HBO and Skin-a-max. USE the dislcaimers and ratings system already in place. Use judgement, or better yet, here's a good one: TALK TO YOUR KIDS!

Cable is the last beacon of hope for those of us who enjoy good television. Yes, there is some good network TV ( see my post on my fav shows ) but let's face it, there's a reason why HBO has become the Emmy black hole that it is. Namely because it is not held to the out-dated, draconian standards that network TV is. And here's a thought..................

Why DO we have seemingly more "risque" TV nowadays? Is it because our society is morally bankrupt? Is it because we have abandoned our God? ( HIGHLY unlikely given the current climate. ) Is it because we are desensitized to violence, swearing and nudity? Maybe. I think its simply because we as a country are evolving. Each generation becomes aware of things such as death, sex, violence and salty language at ever-earlier ages. In essence, we grow up faster and thus become more complex creatures earlier in life. We are intimately more aware as to what REAL life is like, not the "life" force-fed to us at church, synagogue or mosque. We thus demand more from our entertainment. More reality. Witness the revolution in digital special effects, which has allowed us to suspend our realities much easier than before. We demand these advances because we are much more AWARE that the images on the screen are indeed fantasy and exist outside of our reality. Likewise, we demand shows like The Sopranos because they resonate with us. They are more real, inhabited with more realisitic ( i.e. flawed ) characters. Sure, there is a place for shows like Friends which was a cute show, but one hardly based in reality ( how DID those people afford those fantastic digs in NYC?? ). For those of us who want grittier, more realistic TV, we should have access to it, even if we have to pay for it. How does MY watching Queer As Folk affect what Betty Bowers--True Christian--watches down the street? If she wants to watch re-runs of Bonanza, that's fine with me. But don't deny me my right to watch a guy getting a blowjob in the backroom of a hot, dank, gay bar while surrounded by more hot guys getting equally fantastic blowjobs. ( TAXI!!!!!!!!! ) And let's face it. This whole Congressional maneuvering is a game of one-upmanship being played by BOTH parties to show the American people that WE'RE DOING SOMETHING ABOUT INDECENCY!!!! Which of course is fueled by the Religous Right who are again, trying to shove their values down the collective throat of America. I'd like to shove something down their throat.......................

Video Archive

2005-04-11T13:17:00.000-07:00

This was a great link I found on Metafilter. There is some cool stuff here, with videos that run the gamut from rather esoteric bands ( Front 242, Skinny Puppy, Sister Machine Gun, Interpol ) to more mainstream ones( Moby, Beastie Boys, Bjork, Depeche Mode, Duran Duran ). If you have some time to kill, check it out.

Terri Lives On!!!

2005-04-08T13:06:00.000-07:00

Ok kids. If you're worried about your eternal soul, you'd be advised to stay clear of this link. If you're not worried--like me-- then click away and DO THE SCHIAVO!!!!

Friday Fives

2005-04-08T09:01:00.000-07:00

1. What's the one movie you've seen more times than any other?

OK, here's where the geek in me will be placed on display for all to see. Those of you who know me know I love Star Wars. So is it any surprise that I've seen these movies countless times? Of all the films in the series, I've seen the original the most times. I can recite almost every line in the film and can tell you where each musical cue begins and ends. I can tell you the name of every character, ship and planet. I can tell you that Darth Vader's T.I.E. Fighter was a prototype for the more agile T.I.E. Interceptor model seen in Return of the Jedi. See, now you have written proof that I am a geek.

2. If you could turn one book, comic book or other print story into a feature-length movie, what story would you pick and why?

I remember reading Ender's Game and thinking that it would be a great movie. As it happens, its due for release in 2006. We'll see whether Wolfgang " The Boat" Petersen can pull it off. Most of his films post Das Boot have been very loud Hollywood extrvaganzas. If he can capture the psychological aspect of Ender's Game it will be a fine film.

3. Whom would you cast?

Interesting question. All I can say is that "thank god" Jake lloyd is out of the running. That little tow-headed moppet can't act. I still have nightmares of his infamous "yippee!!" in Episode I: The Phantom Menace. Getting back to the question, I'd probably cast a relatively unknown child actor, but a good one. Someone like Haley Joel Osment before he got popular. Let's face it, The Sixth Sense wouldn't have been such a creepy movie without that little tyke.

4. What one movie would you like to see "updated for the year 2005"? (Ie, a remake)

I generally don't like remakes. ( Although I did recently enjoy the updated version of The Manchurian Candidate. ) I can't say I'm yearning for a specific remake, although I am anxiously awaiting Peter Jackson's King Kong. The man has already shown a deep respect for source material so I'm encouraged that his remake will be faithful to the original. And let's face it, ole' Kong needs a 21st century makeover. He's a movie monster icon. Godzilla got his, why not Kong?

5. What one movie are you most looking forward to this year?

Do you even HAVE to ask? See my March 14th entry on "The Return of the good Star Wars movie?".

Friday Fives

2005-04-01T10:26:00.000-08:00

1. Cholula? Tobasco? Tapatio? Bruce's? What is your favorite hot sauce and what do you like it served with?

Hmmmm.......not a HUGE fan of the hot sauce, unlike my love for "the sauce". I like it, but not enough to actually *think* about it. I actually like the Taco Bell hot sauce. Yo quero mucho! Back to you Libby!!!

2. Friends is over. ER is getting lame. Reality TV plagues the airwaves. What do you now consider "Must See TV?"

Thank God someone said it. NBC should've taken ER off life support years ago, kinda like Terri!! Must See TV for me consists of:

Lost--an odd mix of mystery, drama and --shock!-- good writing, this show is insanely addicitve ( thanks E2 ). I actually missed the pilot, and have yet to see it, but I was hooked at about episode 3. With a HUGE ensemble cast, an engaging and mysterious convergence of story lines and plenty of back stories to explore, this show could go on for quite some time and never get tired.
Battlestar Galactica--Hands-down, the best Sci-Fi story I've come across in years ( sorry George...maybe you'll hit paydirt with episode III? ). Essentially, a re-imagined series based on the original Battlestar Galactica, this one is darker, more visceral, and at its core, more human than the original. These characters are not archetypes and their relationships are anything but simple. What I like BEST about this series is that the story arc is being well maintained. The original series had it's " dilemma of the week" while this series expounds upon what we've seen before, making it rather addictive. The effects are amazing, although the "jitter-cam" can get a bit much. The space sequences are a cross between Star Wars and 2001. Thrilling yet graceful, violent yet serene. The production of this series is amazing and the new re-imagined world is a lot tougher and dirtier than the original. All in all, if you like Sci-Fi, check this out. And check your pre-conceived notions about the old series at the door. This isn't your daddy's Battlestar.
Desperate Housewives--At its core, this show is a showcase for dysfunctional suburbia and boy is it fun to watch. We get hunky plumbers, even hotter teenage boys, murder, mental disorders, pill-popping moms and a healthy dose of S&M to boot. What's NOT to like??
Family Guy--OK, so I'm just watching reruns now in anticipation of this series' May 1st resurrection, but this show gets funnier everytime I watch it. With it's surreal pop-culture tangents, egomaniacal toddler, martini-swilling, talking dog and some of the most un-PC dialogue left of the Simpsons, this show isn't for everyone. But if you have a wicked sense of humor that borders on or crosses over into truly tasteless territory.....well, in the words of patriarch Peter Griffin, this show is "freakin' sweet".

3. If you could be a ringer in the White House press room, what SOFTBALL question would you throw to White House Press Secretary Scott Mclellan.

"So Scott, how fast IS freedom spreading in the Middle East?"

4. You know "they" are watching you. They watch at work, they watch you in traffic. They see you at the store. What is it they recently saw that has embarrassed you the most.

In light of the fact that I'm being watched, I just don't do embarrasing things. Problem solved.

5. In light of, or rather, in honor of Teri and Michael S, of Pinellas Park, Fl, take a moment and craft a light haiku. (remember,
the format is 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables.)

Stupid tube. OUT! OUT!
It keeps me a vegetard.
Oh, its out! I'm dead.

Blockbuster Gets Bitch-Slapped

2005-03-29T10:53:00.000-08:00

Blockbuster is finally getting it's just desserts for its ambiguous " no late fees" campaign. Devised as a counter-attack to the popularity of Netflix's keep-your- DVDs-as-long-as-you-want-to strategy, the fine print has finally been made legible. Turns out, if you don't return a film after 7 days, your credit card is charged for the entire price of the film. You then still have 30 days to return the film, which of course you will be inclined to do in order to get that nasty Blockbuster charge off your credit card. Upon returning the film, you will be charged a $1.75 "re-stocking fee". I don't know about you, but that sounds eerily like a "late fee" to me. I have been a huge fan of Netflix since August of 2001 and am fiercely loyal even in the face of Blockbuster's johnny-come-lately DVD subscription service. Yes, Blockbuster's service is cheaper, but there are several reasons I'll never cross over to the Dark Side:

I believe in staying true to and rewarding those who had vision....namely Netflix. The only reason Blockbuster even has a new service is because of the pressure being placed on them by Netflix.
Netflix's movie library boasts 35,000 titles, about 5,000 more than Blockbuster. Also, I think you'll find harder-to-find movies at Netflix which has great Independent, Gay & Lesbian and Documentary sections.
Blockbuster is the Evil Empire. Sure, they used to be way cool; they basically perfected the idea of renting videos, that is until they got greedy. Not too long ago, almost 20% of Blockbuster's revenues came from--you guessed it--late fees. The very same late fees that prompted Netflix's CEO Reed Hastings to begin his venture. Thanks Blockbuster!! I'll gladly keep paying $3 more a month rather than give Blockbuster one dime of my Big Gay Disposable Income.

By the way, the term "Blockbuster" was coined in the 1920s to denote a movie whose long line of customers could not be contained on a single city block.

I Am Angry

2005-03-25T11:50:00.000-08:00

This was from right after the election. I felt it should definitely be a part of my blog..............

I am an angry man this morning. I am angry because George W. Bush will sit in the White House for four more years. I am angry that my tax dollars will continue to support this insane war that Bush has gotten us into. I am angry that Kerry couldn't exploit the laundry list of unbelievably gross errors in judgment that this President seems proud of. But most of all, I am angry because I have lost faith in the American people. How could our nation have committed us to four more years of what has to be considered one of the most inept administrations ever to have wielded power? How could Americans vote for a man, who by all accounts, has deceived the American people to the tune of 1,000 dead American soldiers and counting? How could any intelligent, reasonably-informed person have let this happen? With 3 million votes between Dubya and Kerry, it's painfully obvious to me that the answer is simple--most Americans simply don't think. They bury their heads in the sand. They lack the necessary skills to make informed judgments, to actually exert the energy to uncover truth from fiction. They let blind faith supercede logic and reason. They tune in to CNN or Fox News, hear what the "pundits" have to say, or hear that day's headline ( Kerry discredited by Swiftboat Veterans for truth!!) and feel that they have been "informed". How truly sad this is. What a sad commentary.

With so much riding on this election, I'd hoped that people would look at the Big Picture. They would look at Bush's record: the spiralling deficit, an unjustified war, Bush's rejection of "bad science" concerning global warming, his lack of a REAL and meaningful energy policy designed to get us off Big Oil, his blatently transparent cronyism. If people had looked, they would've discovered Bush had no moral or rational leg to stand on. But they didn't......instead, all across middle-america, people bought into his fear-mongering, let their faith blind them to reality, and like a herd of cows, voted for him without ever critically thinking about the consequences. Then there are those who hold an equally distasteful place in my heart and soul; those people who go to the polls and vote for a candidate based on his stance concerning ONE issue. These people are the worst sort of voter-- people who ignore the larger issues at hand and vote in an unbelievably egotistical manner. How many gun lovers voted for Bush on the perceived notion that somehow, Kerry was going to take their guns away? How many people voted for Bush because he backs a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage? There were MUCH larger issues at stake in this election. To paraphrase Matt Stone and Trey Parker, " if you don't know the issues, stay at home ". ( Oh, and I also abhor gays who vote for a candidate based solely on his/her stance towards gay rights. )

There are so many reasons to hate George Bush and the GOP:

Bush lied. Period. About Saddam. About the WMDs. About the "threat" to America. And yet, the "liberal" media has given him a free pass. When Clinton lied about his blowjob, the media and the GOP turned him into their whipping boy and called into question his ability to lead the country based on his "lack of morals". Apparently, lying to the nation about going to war is somehow OK. Apparently, losing American soldiers-- almost daily-- based on a lie is OK. Apparently, Bush's moral center has not been compromised.

Bush's disdain for anyone who questions him. Cabinet-level appointees have described Bush as "woefully ignorant" of even the most basic of issues. BUSH-APPOINTED administration officials have resigned, citing Bush as impossible to work with as a reason for doing so. He does not engage in discussion and bases most of his decisions on " a gut feeling ", not logic or reason. Look where that has gotten us.........

By diverting resources and money to an un-just war in Iraq, Afghanistan is back at Square One. The warlords are in charge, the Taliban is rearing it's head once again and human rights are in peril, once again. It's like we were never there.................

Human rights here at home are in peril. Right-wing religious groups have hi-jacked the GOP, even to the dismay of some Republicans. In fact, it is telling that some Republicans have predicted a civil war within the GOP if Bush was to be re-elected. ( I personally hope it happens.....I'd love to watch the GOP implode under the weight of it's own ill-fated decisions. ) Division within your OWN party certainly does not bode well for being known as a "uniter". George Bush--in a word--is a divider. Never have I seen this nation so polarized.

Bush has been quoted as saying he's "doing the Lord's work". Well, that's fine, but don't do it from the White House. I have nothing against people believing in a Higher Power, but when that faith so utterly infuses itself into politics, that rails against EVERYTHING this country stands for. For Bush to stand before Congress, and declare that the USA is going to embark on a Crusade against terrorists, belies the weight with which his faith plays a role in his day-to-day decision making. It also belies his ignorance of history; given the pretext in which the Crusades were set, it shows with shocking clarity how ignorant Bush is of even monumental historic events in world history. And this is the leader of the Free World............

Those close to Bush have been quoted as saying that Bush "believes in what he is doing" to the exclusion of any other alternative. Alternatives are a nuisance to Bush, something to get out his way, something impeding his Grand Plan. One man cannot possibly run a modern nation without input from experts. Bush has obviously decided to try................

I am embarrassed to be an American. I am embarrassed for our nation. I loathe our standing in the world. America's promise was quenched today. My only consolation is that we have term limits, and that this simple, un-qualified man will never be able to shape our country's destiny again. As it stands, America will be digging itself out of the "Bush years" for years to come.................

More Terri Troubles

2005-03-25T10:46:00.000-08:00

OK, this is the last time I'll address this issue; but I just couldn't help myself after reading this morning's stories on this increasingly bizarre case. The Supreme Court of the United States of America--which, by the way, leans quite far to the right of center--denied to hear Terri's case yet a 3rd time. Now Terri's parents are scrambling with the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals yet AGAIN. Barring the Keystone Cops imagery, this judicial maneuvering brings up a VERY interesting point that is brought up consistently by the Republicans: that of Activist Judges. What are Activist Judges? Well, as the Republicans will tell you, they are judges who thwart the will of the people and "make up law as they go" with little regard for the Constitution or judicial precedents. A Restrained judge--those apparently favored by the Republican Party--are judges who take the law as they "find it"; that is, they make no effort to amend the Law to fit with the times. In a Republican Universe, laws banning segregation, and those supporting a woman's right to vote and a woman's right to choose the fate of her fetus (within reason) would all be heresy. But here's the Republican conundrum. As Salon reported quite succinctly: All together........ 22 federal judges have had a hand in bringing the Schiavo case to where it is today. Thirteen of them were appointed by Republicans; just nine were appointed by Democrats. So, let's review: most of these Activist judges that are denying "life" to Terri are REPUBLICAN. This of course sits at odds with the Culture of Life movement sweeping the Republican party. They can't blame it on Democrats, who are always associated with Activism in the judicial system. So, what to make of the Congressional meddling? It shows quite clearly that The Republicans just plain hate any ruling that doesn't sit with their moral views. They are using Terri as a political pawn in the Culture War. And not only that! The ultimate, most delicious irony is that the Congressmen who voted for this insane law are inviting the judicial system to BE ACTIVIST!! To rail against precedent. To go against the will of the American people ( almost every poll has shown that Americans support Mr. Schiavo by a landslide ). To essentially invite something into their party that has heretofore been treated as a pus-oozing leper. I wrote in a prior missive written the day after the 2004 election that I was going to enjoy watching the Republican Party implode. God, don't you love it when you're right?

Friday Fives

2005-03-25T08:47:00.000-08:00

1. What's your favorite sport (to watch or participate in)? How often do you have a ritual you participate in as you play it/watch it?

I don't really have a favorite sport. I enjoy a good competition, whatever the game may be. How often do I participate in sports? Ummmmmmmm...........never. Any sport I engage in is usually a solo effort ( i.e. weight lifting, running, chasing after men ). How often do I watch it? Almost never.

2. Do you feel that your favorite sport has a lot of negative influences on yourself or others?

I don't like this battery of questions. They're all about SPORTS!!

3. As a kid, did you have a sport/athlete idol?

See above...........

4. Which "extreme" sport would you like to try (or would have already tried) if you weren't afraid of doing it?

OK, I can answer this one. I've always wanted to try base jumping, but the relative short distance to the ground coupled with the very earth-centric clutches of gravity preclude me from ever trying this. I'd always wanted to try rock climbing and have now done it several times since moving to Colorado.

5. Are you caught up in "March Madness" (i.e., the NCAA basketball tournament)? Are you a basketball fan? Who will win?

March Madness? Is this some sort of biblical soap box derby? If so, I am SO in.

My Acronym

2005-03-24T12:00:00.000-08:00

M	Misunderstood
A	Appealing
R	Radiant
K	Kind

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

Misunderstood: I can agree with that on some level. Most people think I'm stuck-up and rude when they first meet me. If I'm inebriated, well, that's a whole other Oprah.

Appealing: Without tooting my own horn too much, I think this is true. I'm relatively smart, dress well, have good hygiene, am somewhat cultured and can still enjoy myself in a smoke-filled, dive bar filled with miscreants........... provided there is enough booze. I'm rather adventurous as well. I love to travel and my favorite thing to do once I arrive somewhere is to toss my bags into my room ( OK, I neatly put everything away ) and then walk about for hours to learn the lay of the land.

Radiant: I'm not sure if I'm radiant. I'm no angel, that's for sure!

Kind: I think I am, although my tone and delivery can sometimes belie that. I am sometimes curt with people without really meaning to be and I think this comes from my insanely pragmatic mind.

OK, this is just weird........

2005-03-23T14:47:00.000-08:00

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/03/22/health/psychology/22ampu.html

Devolution in IMAX

2005-03-23T13:05:00.000-08:00

Check this out, the newest proof that this country is barreling headlong into an increasingly bizarre Culture War. It boggles my mind that in the 21st century, this country has school districts slapping disclaimer stickers on science text books that essentially brand the Theory of Evolution as bogus. Equally alarming is the rise of Creation Science, a pseudo-science if ever there was one, but one that is nevertheless being embraced by the Christian Right as a bonafide alternative to real science. First off, let's start with the basic argument of Creationists:

Evolution is "only a theory and cannot be proven."

However, as used in science, a theory is an explanation or model based on observation, experimentation, and reasoning, especially one that has been tested and confirmed as a general principle helping to explain and predict natural phenomena. In addition, these Theories need to be peer-reviewed. That is, published in a reputable journal and reviewed by the entire scientific community after which a consensus is met. And the jury--ladies and gentleman--has been in with the verdict since the mid-19th century. The Theory of Evolution is considered the most valid explanation for how man came to be in existence, with almost 150 years of amassed data to support it. Now, lest you brand me some left-wing, intellectual, heretic, let's compare a few of the critical differences between Evolution and Creationism.

The Theory of Evolution is just as the above definition states: an explanation or model based on observation and reasoning.......... And more importantly, one that is based on FACTS. Facts do not lie. And the facts, for the past 150 years, have overwhelmingly supported Darwin's landmark Theory. How many facts support the Creationist view that God created everything? None. How much of Creationism is predicated upon reason? None. How much of Creationism is based upon simple observation? None. Has Creationism ever been rigorously examined by true scientists? Well, in fact, yes it has. And it has been handily dismissed as VERY bad science.

It's amazing to me that amidst charges that our public schools are failing miserably, that US students are woefully unprepared for the new future that is the Information Age, and that US students consistently lag behind other industrialized nations concerning competence in math and science , we as a nation are even HAVING this debate. Are even entertaining that Creationism is legitimate. We teach Evolution not as an anti-religion, but as a Theory that has 150 years of facts, observations and research to its credit. Here's my simple answer as to Creationism's appeal. It's for folks who are either too dim-witted or lazy to understand evolution, or for folks who are so blinded by religion that they can't see the reality of scientific discovery happening around them. Which leads me to my final point about the difference between this Evolutionist and Creationists.

I, as an Evolutionist and as a scientist, am willing to concede that there IS some Higher Power out there, whether it be God, aliens or pure energy. After all, the Universe DID have to come from something. Even if you believe in that other radical, hokum Theory, The Big Bang, one still has to concede that the super-dense ball of matter that gave birth to the cosmos as we know it had to come from somewhere. So, as a rational being, I must say that I'm pretty clueless as to the true origins of the universe. But I can admit it. Creationists, on the other hand, never admit to the gaping holes in their "theory". GOD DID IT.........AND IN 6 DAYS TOO!!!! As if this is not enough of a mind-numbingly insane claim, it is made worse by the Creationists un-bending belief in the Bible as some sort of historically accurate document ( note the word--accurate ). The Bible thus fuels their subsequent dismissal of any scientific evidence that challenges their belief system. God did it and the hell with the mountains of data suggesting otherwise. Which is fine. If you want to believe in Creationism, fine............we live in a free country. But don't present it as some equally feasible alternative to Evolution. It's not even close.

Feeding Tube Frenzy

2005-03-21T10:46:00.000-08:00

While we're all celebrating one historic resurrected life this weekend, make sure and raise your glass to Congress as well for making sure all us heathens celebrate Bush's Culture of Life and the resurrection of Terri Schiavo. As you've by now heard, the United States Congress has intervened and passed a law requiring that a feeding tube be put BACK into a woman who has been in a persistant vegetative state for 15 years. President Bush, who couldn't find time to be in Washington for truly world-altering decisions in the past, hot-footed it out to Washington on Sunday from his "ranch" to sign the bill. President Bush said in a statement just after 1 a.m.: "In cases like this one, where there are serious questions and substantial doubts, our society, our laws, and our courts should have a presumption in favor of life. This presumption is especially critical for those like Terri Schiavo, who live at the mercy of others." There are so many things wrong with that statement, I don't know where to begin. The interesting and polarizing word in that statement is the word "live". Terri Schiavo is not "living" at the mercy of anyone. I don't think being hooked up to life-sustaining machinery for 15 years like some non-ambulatory Darth Vader qualifies as "life". I don't think her husband is being irrational in wanting to end everyone's misery. After 15 years, I think he has given Terri and medical science every chance to right this horrible affliction. I think her parents are the most selfish people on this planet. They only want Terri alive for their own warped sense of moral rightness. But what I REALLY detest is Congress' supposed authority to invade our lives on a most personal level. To be sure, this whole thing could've been avoided had Terri left a directive. But even in those instances, legal battles can be waged. There is no guarantee that people will do what you ask of them. ( Robert, pull the plug. Pull it as soon as the docs say " persistant vegetative state". If you can't, get Matt to do it. ) I'm mad at Congress, Republicans and Democrats alike ( 47 Democrats voted for this abomination ). Were it not such a gruesome and horribly evil prospect, I would wish for every single one of the Congressmen who voted for this bill to have a similar tragedy visit their homes. And to deal with it for 15 years. And to then have their personal wishes thwarted by a law that was passed in the glory days of the Culture of Life. Not so fast senator, Congress knows best..................

Friday Fives

2005-03-18T09:33:00.000-08:00

1. Would you consider yourself a good singer? How would you describe your singing voice?

Hell no. I sing only in the shower or when alone in the car. It is one of the Great Ironies in my life that I can pick out a wrong note while listening to a symphony but cannot carry a tune to save my life. A description of my singing voice would be simple: out of tune.

2. Do you sing in the shower? What about in your car? Do you sing along to the radio/CDs a lot? Do you prefer singing when you're alone, or do you belt out tunes at any time?

See above.

3. Who is your favorite singer at the moment, and why?

I don't really have a favorite singer. I listen to much more classical music than that fancy music with words. If I had to pick a voice off the top of my head, I would say Josh Grobin. Even though I don't like the cheese he sings, his voice is absolutely beautiful.

4. Do you ever watch the show "American Idol"? Who will win this year's competition?

Um, yes. American Idol is one of my guilty pleasures. It is a strange show, one which morphs from leering and jeering at the slew of raw non-talent on display for America's sadistic entertainment to one where you find yourself genuinely rooting for one of The Chosen Few. It is also an interesting lesson on what Americans deem to be good artistry. On more than one occasion, America has booted off someone with real talent while allowing some ego-bloated, should-have-never-been "talent" to advance. The show, in its simplest form ( once the American people take over ) is a glorified popularity contest. To that end, I am rooting for the Rockers Bo and Constantine. I'm inclined more towards Bo as I believe he has a better stage presence and I like his voice better.

5. Name a song that accurately reflects the way that you're feeling right now.

I'm a vulcan. I don't feel. The chorus to "Weird Science" keeps going through my head right now. Maybe that's a subliminal cue that I'm getting close to The Cure??

Return of the Good Star Wars Movie?

2005-03-14T10:24:00.000-08:00

I know, I know. No one will ever trump The Empire Strikes Back, unequivocally the best of the 5 movies so far. The prequels have thus far paled in comparison to the original trilogy. The Phantom Menace was absolutely horrific. With the exception of the uber-cool lightsaber duel near the end of the film with new villian Darth Maul, it was a pretty boring film. Trade embargoes, Jar Jar and bad alien puppets with Chinaman accents? WTF? And the acting................funny how Jake Lloyd has dropped off the radar, isn't it? Attack of the Clones was a vast improvement over its predecessor. Very Machivellian in it's plot, and harkening back to the swashbuckling adventure of the first film, it's only drawback was the way in which the crucial Anakin-Padme relationship was portrayed. The acting was stilted which I believe was a direct consequence of the atrocious, unrealistic dialogue. All in all though, Attack of the Clones was a great Star Wars romp, with the best, kick-ass, all-out war sequence to date in the series. And more importantly, we got a glimpse of the fury within Anakin Skywalker, who will one day succumb to that anger and fall from grace, becoming the evil Darth Vader. And so now it rests with this 6th and final Star Wars film, Revenge of the Sith. Lucas has enough concrete drama here to make this the best and darkest film of the series: the wholesale slaughter of the vaunted Jedi Knights, the dissolution of the Republic and subsequent rise of the autocratic Empire, the birth of the twins Luke & Leia, the escape of Yoda, and of course, the fall of Anakin Skywalker to the dark side. Lucas has said that his film will take us to the bowels of Hell and it will be the first Star Wars film to be given a PG-13 rating, an indication that Lucas may finally abandon the kid-friendly schlock and give us what we've been wanting.............a Star Wars movie for adults. If you haven't seen the trailer, click on the link above. If this movie is half as good as the trailer implies, I think Lucas may have redeemed himself.

Friday Fives

2005-03-11T10:20:00.000-08:00

Note: I'm sick of being limited by word caps at the actual Friday Five site, or whatever the hell it is. So, I'm just gonna do it on my blog from now on. So, here we go......

1. Early childhood discipline. Were you swatted? Grounded? Left on a desert island to contemplate your sins?

My dad had this leather belt with steel rings reinforcing the holes. He only used it 3 times during my childhood, and to be honest, I ( and my brothers ) probably deserved it. Funny how the words " pull your pants down" have gone from an association with pain to one of pleasure.

2. As a child, when was the first time you remember experiencing Them Cold Hard Facts of Life (real disappointment and realization that bad things can happen). (With apologies to Whisperin' Bill Anderson.)

I guess after my mother died ( I was 4 at the time ). The family dynamic that ensued after my father's re-marriage was like having a mastadon-sized skeleton hauled out of the closet. It was really fucked up. My natural mother's grandparents were openly hostile towards my New Mother, and my dad and New Mom used us kids as a way of venting their frustrations with the whole situation. To wit: if either Matt ( my biological brother ) or I got into trouble with New Mom, you can bet dad was going to find a way to come down on Brian ( my newly-acquired step-brother ). It was a really viscious cycle that was not lost on us. The ultimate irony was that at ages 4-6, we could've cared less about our new family dynamic. We were too busy being kids and stuffing things in our ears. It was our parents and Matt and I's maternal grandparents who were always reminding us that the three of us were something less than real brothers. That's a lot for a 6 year old to take in..............

3. At bed time, do you need a bed time story or do you fall fast asleep? Any routines that must happen before the slumber?

The only things that have to happen before I sleep are a good mouth-washing, tooth-scrubbing and removal of all clothes.

4. How old were you when you learned to ride a bike?

I can't really remember....maybe 6-8? What I CAN remember is my first bike. If my parents were clueless about my sexuality after I demanded--at age 8--to choose my first set of frames ( I started wearing glasses in the 3rd grade), they should have tuned in after I chose my first bike. It was purple, with a glittery, purple banana seat, sissy bars and streamers. Yes, you read that right...handlebar streamers. How gay is THAT?? To my credit though, I went everywhere my brothers did on their butch, motorcross-styled bikes and I jumped that ole' sissy bike off the school steps every chance I got. So, to answer Napolean Dynamite's question: " every take that sweet ride off any jumps?", I can answer....YES. Yes, I did.

5. As a teen learning to drive, any driving related altercations that you never told your parents about?

The only altercation I had was wrenching the driver's side mirror off the family car while backing into the garage. This was done in full view of the entire family and much to my chagrin, my parents found it rather amusing and I didn't really get into trouble. Go figure.

A Nation of Hypocrites

2005-03-03T10:47:00.000-08:00

As a link on metafilter says " the chickens have come home to roost". The hypocrisy of this nation handing out human rights violations while conveniently ignoring its own is stunning. I'm saddened and angry because this sort of double-standard will do nothing other than to erode our already pitiful image amongt other world leaders. Yes, China is oppressive as is Russia and a host of others. And they continually deny these charges even though they are well-documented. What the US State Dept. should have done is acknowledge our own human rights' violations at Abu Ghraib and its intentions on how to prevent them from happening again. This would have set us apart from other nations who seem too have no outward intention of fixing their own humanitarian failings. That would have gone a long way to maintaining what shred of credibilty we have as the "democratic beacon of freedom". As it stands, I think that beacon just got a little dimmer................

Lights! Camera! Reaction!

2005-03-01T11:14:00.000-08:00

So, the Oscars have come and gone........I say good riddance. Welllllllllllll.......not so fast. This was decidedly one of the strangest Academy Awards shows in recent memory. A train-wreck of a production un-folding in slo-motion, illicting thoughts of "did they just Do that? " If you missed out on all the wackiness , here's a brief synopsis of the on-stage and off-stage shenanigans:

This year, it was all about Being Black. Don't get me wrong, I think African-Americans have been shunned mercilessly in the past and I'm glad they're being recognized for their achievements in the motion picture arts. And besides, who *doesn't* like Morgan Freeman? It wasn't so much the increased numbers of the African-American community that attracted my attention ( although why P. Diddy got to present an award is beyond my comprehension. Prince has at least won an Oscar......) , but rather the overall tone that permeated the evening. It was a bit disconcerting to see Oprah Winfrey giving the black power salute when Jamie Foxx took home the Best Actor award. What the hell was that all about? Have the Oscars suddenly become some staging ground for radical activism? Jesus, I hope not. Combine radical activism with an overwhelming sense of self-importance and you get.........Tim Robbins! And who needs more of him??

Many of the technical and lesser awards ( like for say.......best short film ) were handed out either "Survivor" style, where the nominees were lined up on stage to await their fate, or even worse, handed out in some dark and shady corner, with the nominees trying to hide the fact that their shining moment was being relegated to the trash heap of Forgettable Non-Actor Awards. It was rather depressing to watch.................and all that was missing for the fortunate serfs that actually got to set foot on The Stage was Jeff Probst and some cheesy tribal music.

( Side note: The Cheesiest Music Moment Award goes to the playing of the Star Trek Theme as Morgan Freeman exits The Stage after winning his Best Supporting Actor award. WTF????? )

The Double Whammy: Over in Latino Corner, the composer of the winner of the Best Song from a Movie Award must have been shoving hot rods of steel up his ass. Only pain like that could overcome the agony he ( and we ) had to endure as Antonio Banderas sang--I use this term as loosely as convention will allow-- the Oscar-nominated song " The Other Side of the River " or as a stupid gringo would say.....The Otre Side of the Reever. First off, who decided Antonio Banderas could sing? A sick cow in labor would have sounded better!! Not even Carlos Santana could make this guy sound good. Then, there was Antonio himself. Not so hot anymore................period. His hair looked like he'd washed it in the muddy Rio Grande and used lard as a molding paste. And would it KILL him to take a cue from the wife and get some work done? ( Just don't use her nip/tuck guy Antonio. Those lips could carry refugees from Cuba. ) Now, here comes the double whammy.............To add about a five pound bag of crude rock salt to his gaping, oozing wound, not only does this composer guy have to listen to this horrible, first-episode-of -American-Idol rendition of his song, he does so because the producer of the Oscars deemed the composer too obscure to sing his OWN FUCKING SONG. WTF?? I'm speechless.........................

Nipplegate sure took it's toll. ABC decided to censor, and then cut completely, Robin Williams' planned ditty that poked fun at James Dobson and his assertion that Spongebob Squarepants is gay. To his credit, Williams did manage to improvise a schtick that poked fun at it all, but it was clearly under duress. It was the first time I saw Robin Williams actually squirm on stage, rather than own it. That, my friends, is a sad day----when a network terrified of being slapped with a fine, castrates one of the world's greatest comic geniuses. I'm sure the Family Television Council slept good though............. they can kiss my flaming gay ass.

And last but not least, we had the Which of These Songs Sucks Least Award!! First off, I have never thought that the Best Song category is worth the mental energy needed to produce the kind of trash it celebrates. These sappy, sugar-coated, largely forgettable tunes are the worst kind of schlok. Celine Dion anyone? Anyone remember that cheesy song from Lord of the Rings? It infuriates me that this drivel gets front-stage treatment, while the true musical hearts of these movies--their soundtracks-- are an afterthought. Who will remember ANY of these songs? I've already forgotten them. One was in French. And one was accompanied by The Purveyor of Cheese Himself, Andrew Lloyd Webber. Jesus, take me now!! ( the Rapture Shield is still under construction..............)

Until next year, beaker out.

2005-02-24T16:53:00.000-08:00

I just LOVE the Canadians!

2005-02-24T15:00:00.000-08:00

Once again, the Canadians have demonstrated their uncanny knack for reason. Nope.....no missile shield for us, thank you very much. This is sure to piss off the Bushies, and who can blame them? Why---we NEED a missile shield to protect us from all of the warheads being lobbed about the globe!! Never mind that it hasn't worked yet----not even once!! We'll just keep throwing money at it. If you throw enough money at something, it's bound to work eventually (witness Britney Spears ). Personally, I, as a hell-bound, jew-loving, sodomizing, agnostic, flaming liberal would like to see my tax money spent constructing something much more practical: like a Rapture Shield. I mean, according to this administration, a whole lot of us are on that express jet to Hell, so wouldn't it be prudent for the government to save as many people as possible? According to this President, half of the population spontaneously combusting is much more likely than a missile being lobbed our way from half way around the world. So, c'mon George! Let's get to workin' on that Rapture Shield. Oh but wait...........that would be unreasonable.

Entering the fray

2005-02-24T13:51:00.000-08:00

OK. So I figured.....*I* have things to say.......and more often than not I don't jot them down. So I aim to use this fancy thing called the Inter-Net to remedy that. Roy.......you've sucked me in.